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Are people with ASDs more tollerant of other autisic people than NTs are?

Marjorie195

I do sometimes wonder if our personal experience of being misunderstood and misinterpreted, makes us more likely to give someone the benefit of the doubt when we are on the receiving end of communications which appear less than tactful.

Are we any good at spotting others on the spectrum?

For a while, I have been encountering a guy who to me appears unfriendly and prickly. These are critisisms which are sometimes levelled at people with asd. It has occured to me, that he may be on the spectrum, but I do not know if I am wasting my time being polite to someone who does not want to be friendly, or just has difficulty with it.

Parents

  • YES I HAVE ALWAYS HAD THIS PROBLEM. PLEASE EXCUSE CAPS LOCK, I AM NOT SHOUTING, I JUST LOVE LETTERS IN CAPITALS.

     I NATURALLY DON'T GET EYE CONTACT AT ALL BECAUSE I AM FAR MORE COMFORTABLE LIKE THAT BUT I HAVE TRIED HARD TO LOOK AT PEOPLE WHEN THEY SPEAK BECAUSE I WORRY THAT THEY MIGHT THINK I AM NOT LISTENING BUT THEN THEY THINK I AM STARING. I WATCH PEOPLE ALL THE TIME TRYING TO SEE HOW THEY BEHAVE AND I PRACTICE IT BUT I JUST CAN'T GET IT RIGHT AT ALL. 

    I ALSO STAND TOO CLOSE TO PEOPLE SOMETIMES WHICH I NEVER REALISED I DID UNTIL I WAS DIAGNOSED AND LOOKED INTO THE TRAITS AND BEHAVIOUR DUE TO ASD. I USED TO GET REALLY UPSET OR EXTREMELY ANNOYED WHEN SOMEONE LOOKED AT ME AT THESE TIMES. THE WORST TIMES WERE AT THE BANKS CASHPOINT MACHINES. MY ANGER WAS VERY QUICK BECAUSE I THOUGHT THEY WERE JUDGING ME AND JUST BEING NASTY THEN I WOULD BE DEVASTATED BY THEIR REACTION TO ME. IT WAS ONLY AFTER DIAGNOSIS THAT I TOOK MORE NOTICE OF HOW FAR AWAY FROM SOMEONE YOU "SHOULD" STAND WHEN THEY ARE USING THE CASH MACHINE. IT NEVER CROSSED MY MIND THAT MAYBE THEY WERE PERHAPS INTIMIDATED BECAUSE THEY WERE GETTING MONEY OUT. NO-ONE EVER TOLD ME THAT. I WISH PEOPLE WOULD JUST KINDLY TELL ME WHEN I DO SOMETHING WRONG.

    I ALSO TRY TO STUDY BODY LANGUAGE, FACIAL EXPRESSIONS BUT NO MATTER HOW HARD I TRY I CAN'T GET IT RIGHT BECAUSE I GET CONFUSED BY OTHER THINGS LIKE A COMMENT THAT'S ACTUALLY COMPLETELY THE OPPOSITE OF WHAT THEY HAVE BEEN SAYING. IT'S SO CONFUSING AND DISTRESSING. A SMILE = FRIENDLY IN MY SIMPLE THOUGHT SO HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO SEE A SMILE, HEAR THEM SAY SOMETHING THAT I THOUGHT WAS NICE TO BE TOLD AFTERWARDS THAT THEY WERE BEING SARCASTIC AND THEY ACTUALLY MEAN'T THE OPPOSITE? WHAT TELLS OTHER PEOPLE WHEN SOMEONE IS BEING NICE OR NOT BECAUSE I CAN'T TRUST WHAT THEY ARE SAYING AT ALL.

Reply

  • YES I HAVE ALWAYS HAD THIS PROBLEM. PLEASE EXCUSE CAPS LOCK, I AM NOT SHOUTING, I JUST LOVE LETTERS IN CAPITALS.

     I NATURALLY DON'T GET EYE CONTACT AT ALL BECAUSE I AM FAR MORE COMFORTABLE LIKE THAT BUT I HAVE TRIED HARD TO LOOK AT PEOPLE WHEN THEY SPEAK BECAUSE I WORRY THAT THEY MIGHT THINK I AM NOT LISTENING BUT THEN THEY THINK I AM STARING. I WATCH PEOPLE ALL THE TIME TRYING TO SEE HOW THEY BEHAVE AND I PRACTICE IT BUT I JUST CAN'T GET IT RIGHT AT ALL. 

    I ALSO STAND TOO CLOSE TO PEOPLE SOMETIMES WHICH I NEVER REALISED I DID UNTIL I WAS DIAGNOSED AND LOOKED INTO THE TRAITS AND BEHAVIOUR DUE TO ASD. I USED TO GET REALLY UPSET OR EXTREMELY ANNOYED WHEN SOMEONE LOOKED AT ME AT THESE TIMES. THE WORST TIMES WERE AT THE BANKS CASHPOINT MACHINES. MY ANGER WAS VERY QUICK BECAUSE I THOUGHT THEY WERE JUDGING ME AND JUST BEING NASTY THEN I WOULD BE DEVASTATED BY THEIR REACTION TO ME. IT WAS ONLY AFTER DIAGNOSIS THAT I TOOK MORE NOTICE OF HOW FAR AWAY FROM SOMEONE YOU "SHOULD" STAND WHEN THEY ARE USING THE CASH MACHINE. IT NEVER CROSSED MY MIND THAT MAYBE THEY WERE PERHAPS INTIMIDATED BECAUSE THEY WERE GETTING MONEY OUT. NO-ONE EVER TOLD ME THAT. I WISH PEOPLE WOULD JUST KINDLY TELL ME WHEN I DO SOMETHING WRONG.

    I ALSO TRY TO STUDY BODY LANGUAGE, FACIAL EXPRESSIONS BUT NO MATTER HOW HARD I TRY I CAN'T GET IT RIGHT BECAUSE I GET CONFUSED BY OTHER THINGS LIKE A COMMENT THAT'S ACTUALLY COMPLETELY THE OPPOSITE OF WHAT THEY HAVE BEEN SAYING. IT'S SO CONFUSING AND DISTRESSING. A SMILE = FRIENDLY IN MY SIMPLE THOUGHT SO HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO SEE A SMILE, HEAR THEM SAY SOMETHING THAT I THOUGHT WAS NICE TO BE TOLD AFTERWARDS THAT THEY WERE BEING SARCASTIC AND THEY ACTUALLY MEAN'T THE OPPOSITE? WHAT TELLS OTHER PEOPLE WHEN SOMEONE IS BEING NICE OR NOT BECAUSE I CAN'T TRUST WHAT THEY ARE SAYING AT ALL.

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