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Why do Neurotypicals constantly dumb down Asperger traits?

Hope

Because every single Asperger trait in isolation, from poor eye contact to obsessive interests to social fatigue, can occur in the NT population, people often say things like 'oh, my friend finds social situations tiring after about half an hour',intending to be nice but actually conveying a lack of true understanding. It feels like they are invalidating my experience, which is profoundly more significant than mere social fatigue!. It is like they are trying to say 'just pull yourself together, try harder and  things will be fine', or that 'you are making too much of a fuss, even NTs struggle sometimes with social situations'. Yes, this is true, but really beside the point. It is a bit like saying to someone with ME, 'even people without ME feel really tired and run down sometimes'.

Why is this acceptable when talking about Asperger's?

Parents

  • In my experience, you either get those who try too hard to empathise or associate with what you are trying to describe, or on the flip side, where their ignorance is such that they say things like 'Their's nothing wrong with you/your child!' etc.

    I had a regular visitor to my house some years back, who would repeatedly pass ignorant comments about the children with 'special needs,' she had to deal with in her line of work. According to her, all children who have day release for vocational courses at Secondary level, are 'naughty children.'

    Both my boys were on vocational courses at the time, but this had completely alluded her, however, niether have ever been in trouble with the law. Sadly, she was a PCSO!

    Later her comments on the disability of others, led me to believe that their was no point in trying to enlighten her. Educating that level of ignorance is an uphill battle i'm afraid, but in view of my experience, the predudice is huge and many are misunderstood or dismissed due to it. Holding a position of power in society, where you'd think they should know better, is not a guarentee either, in fact it appears more prevalent in my experience.

    We live in an unjust world.

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  • In my experience, you either get those who try too hard to empathise or associate with what you are trying to describe, or on the flip side, where their ignorance is such that they say things like 'Their's nothing wrong with you/your child!' etc.

    I had a regular visitor to my house some years back, who would repeatedly pass ignorant comments about the children with 'special needs,' she had to deal with in her line of work. According to her, all children who have day release for vocational courses at Secondary level, are 'naughty children.'

    Both my boys were on vocational courses at the time, but this had completely alluded her, however, niether have ever been in trouble with the law. Sadly, she was a PCSO!

    Later her comments on the disability of others, led me to believe that their was no point in trying to enlighten her. Educating that level of ignorance is an uphill battle i'm afraid, but in view of my experience, the predudice is huge and many are misunderstood or dismissed due to it. Holding a position of power in society, where you'd think they should know better, is not a guarentee either, in fact it appears more prevalent in my experience.

    We live in an unjust world.

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