Why do Neurotypicals constantly dumb down Asperger traits?

Because every single Asperger trait in isolation, from poor eye contact to obsessive interests to social fatigue, can occur in the NT population, people often say things like 'oh, my friend finds social situations tiring after about half an hour',intending to be nice but actually conveying a lack of true understanding. It feels like they are invalidating my experience, which is profoundly more significant than mere social fatigue!. It is like they are trying to say 'just pull yourself together, try harder and  things will be fine', or that 'you are making too much of a fuss, even NTs struggle sometimes with social situations'. Yes, this is true, but really beside the point. It is a bit like saying to someone with ME, 'even people without ME feel really tired and run down sometimes'.

Why is this acceptable when talking about Asperger's?

Parents
  • I've noticed this too. I think there are a couple of things going on.

    Because NTs have that empathy thing, if you say you have/are something they try to find a way that they, or someone they know, are similar to you. They think they are being nice. Probably.

    In some circles its almost trendy to be on the spectrum because of tv stuff like Sherlock etc. They want to convince themselves they are like you.

    And yes, they really have no awareness of the reality of our lives.

Reply
  • I've noticed this too. I think there are a couple of things going on.

    Because NTs have that empathy thing, if you say you have/are something they try to find a way that they, or someone they know, are similar to you. They think they are being nice. Probably.

    In some circles its almost trendy to be on the spectrum because of tv stuff like Sherlock etc. They want to convince themselves they are like you.

    And yes, they really have no awareness of the reality of our lives.

Children
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