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Living with a NT

Rubix

I thought I would start a thread from an ASD point of view to see if others feel the same as me.

To begin with at the moment I only suspect I am an Aspie (38yo Bloke, with 3 kids, 6yo suspected ASD also), have been refered by my GP but no contact yet for assesment.

I was talking to my wife yesterday about our Son's diagnosis (he too is yet to be diagnosed, but we also thing he has PDA) and we got talking about me and she has told me that she is a bit worried if I get a positive diagnosis of ASD.  Her thinking is that she feels it will put more pressure on her as I may not respond to our kids like a NT.  I tried explaining that regardless of a diagnosos or not, I am me, it just may help me and her with understanding why I am the way I am.  If I don't get a dignosos I'm obviously just wierd ! :-).  

She has always been better at dealing with our son, I think me and him juist clash (maybe as we are so alike becuse of the ASD issues we both appear to have).  Now I feel that I don't want to go through with the referall because of the pressure it puts on her.  At the same time I'd like to know what my issues are and how I can deal with them.  Torn is an understatement.

Has anyone else gone through any of these issues ?

Thanks for reading

Rubix

Parents

  • Agreed, great reply Coogybear.

    I can't say that I am the same person I was before the diagnosis. Had anyone asked me before diagnosis if I was living behind a mask then I would have said no of course not. After the first interview with a psychologist, the first time in my life when I could talk about how I really am, the coping behaviours fell away and so did that mask that I didn't know I had. It wasn't any sort of conscious decision, more like my body thinking 'Phew we don't have to put all that effort in to doing that anymore, there's another way!".

    I wasn't in a relationship at the time but if you are and go through something similar then your partner will notice and may not like the change. Or she may welcome it. In my view a partner's lack of enthusiasm is not a reason to remain uncertain of what you are but everyone must make their own decision about such things.

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  • Agreed, great reply Coogybear.

    I can't say that I am the same person I was before the diagnosis. Had anyone asked me before diagnosis if I was living behind a mask then I would have said no of course not. After the first interview with a psychologist, the first time in my life when I could talk about how I really am, the coping behaviours fell away and so did that mask that I didn't know I had. It wasn't any sort of conscious decision, more like my body thinking 'Phew we don't have to put all that effort in to doing that anymore, there's another way!".

    I wasn't in a relationship at the time but if you are and go through something similar then your partner will notice and may not like the change. Or she may welcome it. In my view a partner's lack of enthusiasm is not a reason to remain uncertain of what you are but everyone must make their own decision about such things.

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