.
When School ends and College begins it doesn't necessarily stop the meltdowns i'm afraid. Although, it was like you'd turned the volume down on my son when he finally threw the towel in at College. Initially, I saw this as a defeat of sorts, however it was clear that the environment was toxic and his health and mental well being were being compromised, so it was the best option for him in the end.
My son was on a level 3 course, but his advised support never came. The knee jerk reaction of the College was to drop him down to a level 2 (even though that was a far below his ability), rather than give him the support he needed and that had been reccommended. This completely domoralized him as he'd already done a level 2 the over the preceeding two years. He just gave up. It was a dreadful learning environment and so much different from his previous School.:(
These Billy's as we term them in our house. (Meltdowns) Can be very distressing and upset the whole family. It's hard to keep your calm sometimes when you have an unappreciative teenager shouting at you, who demands change 'yesterday'. I had one such run in with my son after writting to you on the last post. He wanted money, but had't made the effort to earn any. Well their's a reality check! Money doesn't grow on trees......This fact had apparently completely elluded him.
He swears he doesn't need help, but can't get himself out of bed unaided (He has a sleep disorder) and forgets to take his meds or feed himself! When they start to talk about independant living it's then that you realize how many skills they fall short and how much support you actually provide as a parent.
A couple of years back he swore that he wanted a full-time job and that he could cope. At the end of each day he was so tired, he couldn't even eat. Needless to say, it didn't last more than a week. I've learned that sometimes their is a disparity between what they say they want and what they can manage. The key is getting them to realize that. It's all part of wanting to fit in I guess, yet they don't realize how unhealthy and exhausting all this 'fitting in' can be.
School support is a tough one. If the School/College are not on board you are never singing from the same hymn sheet. The thing is, that College expects a lot less dependance. Your son will have to be very self-motivated and organised.
You really do have to take each day as it comes. Some days are good, others are dreadful. Remain stoic with the School. The School always blame the parent for a childs difficulties when they are not able or willing to support a child. Sadly, their is an element of, 'Well he's only here for a couple more months and then he's not our problem.' Very poor really, but you begin to feel the same about them after a while of no support. A good School should offer support based on a childs need, not a piece of paper.
A parent of an Autistic child has such a hard job. At the time most teens are independant and quite self-reliant, ours are still struggling with the small stuff.
All I can say is, stay strong and vent here as ofen as you like. For the most part, people here understand. You are not a poor parent with a defiant or delinquent child, but an individual who has a child who is different and who presents challenges that NT' parents may never face.
I hope your son sees reason and manages his exams ok. If he's very bright he may surprize you. The 'ups' are all the pleasurable when they come.
Good Luck
Coogybear
When School ends and College begins it doesn't necessarily stop the meltdowns i'm afraid. Although, it was like you'd turned the volume down on my son when he finally threw the towel in at College. Initially, I saw this as a defeat of sorts, however it was clear that the environment was toxic and his health and mental well being were being compromised, so it was the best option for him in the end.
My son was on a level 3 course, but his advised support never came. The knee jerk reaction of the College was to drop him down to a level 2 (even though that was a far below his ability), rather than give him the support he needed and that had been reccommended. This completely domoralized him as he'd already done a level 2 the over the preceeding two years. He just gave up. It was a dreadful learning environment and so much different from his previous School.:(
These Billy's as we term them in our house. (Meltdowns) Can be very distressing and upset the whole family. It's hard to keep your calm sometimes when you have an unappreciative teenager shouting at you, who demands change 'yesterday'. I had one such run in with my son after writting to you on the last post. He wanted money, but had't made the effort to earn any. Well their's a reality check! Money doesn't grow on trees......This fact had apparently completely elluded him.
He swears he doesn't need help, but can't get himself out of bed unaided (He has a sleep disorder) and forgets to take his meds or feed himself! When they start to talk about independant living it's then that you realize how many skills they fall short and how much support you actually provide as a parent.
A couple of years back he swore that he wanted a full-time job and that he could cope. At the end of each day he was so tired, he couldn't even eat. Needless to say, it didn't last more than a week. I've learned that sometimes their is a disparity between what they say they want and what they can manage. The key is getting them to realize that. It's all part of wanting to fit in I guess, yet they don't realize how unhealthy and exhausting all this 'fitting in' can be.
School support is a tough one. If the School/College are not on board you are never singing from the same hymn sheet. The thing is, that College expects a lot less dependance. Your son will have to be very self-motivated and organised.
You really do have to take each day as it comes. Some days are good, others are dreadful. Remain stoic with the School. The School always blame the parent for a childs difficulties when they are not able or willing to support a child. Sadly, their is an element of, 'Well he's only here for a couple more months and then he's not our problem.' Very poor really, but you begin to feel the same about them after a while of no support. A good School should offer support based on a childs need, not a piece of paper.
A parent of an Autistic child has such a hard job. At the time most teens are independant and quite self-reliant, ours are still struggling with the small stuff.
All I can say is, stay strong and vent here as ofen as you like. For the most part, people here understand. You are not a poor parent with a defiant or delinquent child, but an individual who has a child who is different and who presents challenges that NT' parents may never face.
I hope your son sees reason and manages his exams ok. If he's very bright he may surprize you. The 'ups' are all the pleasurable when they come.
Good Luck
Coogybear
