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Hello again,
I do agree, having this forum is a God Send. I'm ashamed to say that when my children were diagnosed I did hardly any research, just bumbled through I guess. I could really have done with this forum years ago.
Since my own diagnosis I've learned so much though and it's explained some pretty traumatic times in my youth. As a female Aspie i've been very vulnerable.
Their's no magic wand of course, but finally you have the answer as to why life was so difficult. Oddly, now I've had time to come to terms with my diagnosis, it's brought about a sense of calm. Before, it was always about, 'if only I tried a little harder'. Now I realize I'm not a bad human being, i'm just wired differently.
Paradoxically, It's probably helped me understand my sons better also and a window into their world as an Aspie parent has allowed me to put coping strategies in place for them, which without realizing, I'd already employed in my own life.
My own son has gross and fine motor cordination difficulties which tend to get worse in the Winter as his muscle tone decreases when he doesn't go out as much. He's had quite a few stumbles in the preceeding months, but he doesn't complain much. I hated PE as a kid. I had no idea why I was so flexible. I had hypermobile joints too it seems. My son was more worried about the contact sports than his falling. Rugby was a real stretch for him.
His School had a very strict policy about teasing and bullying. I'd love to see this rolled out across the country.
I'm so glad you've found friends here and if ever you need some questions answered, just ask. So many helpful and kind souls here who don't judge and who live with different difficulties every day.
Take Care
Coogybear x
I'm so sorry to hear that he's had such a tough time of it. It always floors me when I find or here of anothers deliberate act to insult or hurt an individual, especially someone who's trying to help others.
He sounds like a lovely lad and it seems the School are not very supportive in his case which is frustrating to say the least. We had a similar experience with my sons primary, but thankfully after his statement his secondary were way more supportive of him.
My son wanted to be in the army, but they don't accept you if you have Asthma or ASD. He has both, so he's joined a reinactment group instead. He's a paper member just now, not brave enough just yet to meet the group, but he's working on it.
I saw somewhere that people with ASD are often found in the care profession. I've been a carer myself, in one form or another, most of my life. I hope your son finds something he's happy doing which doesn't cause so much stress. It's a bewildering time for teens.
You sound like a really supportive parent and your son is lucky to have you by his side.
Take care
Coogybear
Hi all,
Yes, as Stateofindependance quite rightly points out RE: Skin itching. "though sensory issues will make it worse, there may be a treatable underlying physical cause like an allergy or vitamin deficiency."
As a child I had mainly Asthma and hayfever ,(My mother severe Eczema.) But my skin was always sensitive. Hives, swelling and all manor of rashes etc If I hugged my pet guinea pig i swelled up, if I peel potatoes the starch makes my skin itch like crazy As an adult I had a skin test and it revealed all manor of allergies. If it appears more Eczema based; as is the case with one of my sons, do look at food/drink/drug triggers. In my experience creams although a good barrier for sore skin, tend to treat the symptom and rarely address the cause. When looking at food elimination from the diet, it's important to consult a qualifed dietician who has experience in such allergic reations or sensitivites, preferably someone with holistic training.
The increase in my own sensitivity does seem affected by two factors though, One being sensory based and the other related to external factors. My most recent severe bout was due to an external factor by way of a change in prescription medication designed to alleaviate my joint and arthritic pain.The medication is opiate based and its side effects are reknownd for causing skin itching. The knee jerk reaction of the GP was to prescribe antihistamines to counteract the effects of the itching. It's no wonder patients end up taking shed loads of meds to counteract the effects of other meds! I'm now looking at alternatives, but even if I eliminate this drug and other known triggers my skin Itches, albeit at a lower more managable level. Finding a balance between pain management and a quality of living, verses side effects of medication, is a tough nut to crack.
Some documents on the net point to scratching in people with Autism as being more self-ingerous behaviour and although I believe a small amount of people do self injure by scratching, I'm not entirely convinced this is the sole reason. Others talk about these actions as more of an OCD thing, but I'm led to believe if that is the case the scratching is rarely accomapnied by an itch on the skin. Stimming is another possible cause. Many factors may be at play here.
I found this link yesterday when trying to remeber the medical term for itching. It aslo points to a number of contributing factors that could be at play.
www.trich.org/.../skin-faqs.html
I too sang as a child, both alone on my swing which I found very comforting (Swinging being my form of stimming at the time, in fact) and later in a Choir. It's great outlet and allows one to be part of something communial. Is it possible he could attend a choir outside the School setting, thus limiting his exposure to the bullies and allowing him to do something he enjoys.
My son also sings. He has a voice way more in tune than my own though. He's never sung professionally or for money, but frequently joins chiors for fundraisering such as at his Uni for 'Children in need.' Perhaps this could be an option for your son.
Aswell as ASD, i'm also Dyslexic. In my youth, when trying to spell difficult words I would sing them which made the spelling easier to remember. This is a strategy, my son has also embraced. It's remarkable the staregies we embrace to get by.
I'm not sure how your son feels about the bullying he's encountered, or even if he's at the right place just now, but after my own sons experience with repeated bullying (He had a total stranger, try to set him on fire on a public bus. The last straw.) he decided to take matters into his own hands.
He is currently an Abassador for Autism at his College, has been a pupil to pupi, SEN liason at his former School and now promotes Autism Awareness in his spare time on a social network site.
Flipping the coin from Victim to advisor and educating students and teachers about bullying, the affects of his learning difficulties and the impact of such actions of ignorance on individuals such as himself, has been extremely empowering for him.
After a lifetime of being misunderstood, overlooked, ignored or abused by outsiders, he's found a voice. It may be way too soon for your son. However, if your son is in touch with the possibility he may have ASD, a great deal of solidarity and comfrot can be had by communing with others on social network sites, created by or aimed at, youngsters who have ASD and who have ecxperienced similar traumas and share similar difficulties. My own son has taken some time to get to this point and endured many severe traumas, but is now in a position to help others as best he can. Something to consider for your son perhaps. It will not take way your sons pain, but it may well give him an outlet that is beneficial to others and empowering to himself.
Just a thought. Take Care
Coogybear
I do not believe that itchy skin is a "symptom" of autism, however it is something a lot of autistic people seem to suffer from. I despair at doctors who dismiss these physical issues as being "all in the mind". Though having said that, I am now itching like crazy...
I use boots emolient cream after a shower to controll itching. Is it really anything to do with asd, or just eczema? E45 has lanolin which irritates some people but the boots one is cheap and with time, effective.
I'd say his singing should be encouraged as this is potentially something he could develop a career in. Does he have any other outlet for singing, other than school? Perhaps he might like to join a choir? Some are small and friendly and not religion-based.
He may be generally very musical, and having no way to translate this is going to be very frustrating (I know this first hand!). How about getting him a drum kit or piano?
Re the skin scratching, although sensory issues will make it worse, there may be a treatable underlying physical cause like an allergy or vitamin deficiency. Vitamin D deficiency is very common - a friend who had been itching all her life turned out to have rickets-level deficiency when tested (and her child has ASD)
Sarah Henrick's videos are great, thanks for the links, Coogy!
If you take something out of your sons 'Tool Box' you must replace it and give him reasons why it's not good otherwise he won't understand.
The scratching I also do. My skin litterally crawls. I cannot help it, nor do I realize i'm doing it until I'm raw or bleeding. It's a sensory thing.
Their is a name for this but I cannot remember it.
You may find this helpful.
Coogy,
