help please newly diagnosed and behavioural issues

Coogybear has raised an interesting illustration which reflects two aspects of autism.

Firstly you cannot reliably read non-verbal signals that something is wrong or inappropriate. Secondly in the absence of ability to read those signals properly, you become heavily dependent on following examples, where you think it gains approval.

The child that Gaus observed may have picked up the idea of spitting from seeing other children do it in another context (second aspect). They may even have been encouraged to do it by their peers, who see the bidability and susceptability of someone on the spectrum as a means of getting amusement. But more commonly the spitting may have arisen from a misunderstanding of whether or not spitting was appropriate, or even a misconception of spitting as a good gesture.

Most children would pick up on disapproving reactions, but the first aspect is not being able to read disapproving messages properly, or to detect collective disapproval messages. Disapproval need not be expressed verbally, or if expressed verbally the emphasis on the verbal disapproval may have been misinterpreted from being a sigfnificant rebuttal to being a playful reaction, perhaps seen in the original context.

The child simply repeats the practice because it seems acceptable, and the unacceptability has never been explained properly until Gaus demonstrated it to the child.

I myself frequently do something similar, whether or not this is down to AS. I pick up that some personal remark in jest is clever or approved, and I keep doing it, because I think it acceptable, until someone very clearly explains to me they don't like it and would I stop it. I keep getting into this predicament. Something seems to me to be right, and I just keep doing it, thinking it is appreciated, until it comes to pretty firm rebuttal.

Maybe that's just me....but it would be interesting to know if others have had similar experiences.

Some of what rach06 describes may be conventional AS reaction to environmental/social distress. He communicates that it hurts him by hurting others.

But you do need to explore whether to any extent his peers are inciting these reactions through subtle bullying or more blatent provocation, to get such a reaction as entertainment.

Is rach06's son being buillied at school? The teachers may well not know this is happening.

Coogybear has raised an interesting illustration which reflects two aspects of autism.

Firstly you cannot reliably read non-verbal signals that something is wrong or inappropriate. Secondly in the absence of ability to read those signals properly, you become heavily dependent on following examples, where you think it gains approval.

The child that Gaus observed may have picked up the idea of spitting from seeing other children do it in another context (second aspect). They may even have been encouraged to do it by their peers, who see the bidability and susceptability of someone on the spectrum as a means of getting amusement. But more commonly the spitting may have arisen from a misunderstanding of whether or not spitting was appropriate, or even a misconception of spitting as a good gesture.

Most children would pick up on disapproving reactions, but the first aspect is not being able to read disapproving messages properly, or to detect collective disapproval messages. Disapproval need not be expressed verbally, or if expressed verbally the emphasis on the verbal disapproval may have been misinterpreted from being a sigfnificant rebuttal to being a playful reaction, perhaps seen in the original context.

The child simply repeats the practice because it seems acceptable, and the unacceptability has never been explained properly until Gaus demonstrated it to the child.

I myself frequently do something similar, whether or not this is down to AS. I pick up that some personal remark in jest is clever or approved, and I keep doing it, because I think it acceptable, until someone very clearly explains to me they don't like it and would I stop it. I keep getting into this predicament. Something seems to me to be right, and I just keep doing it, thinking it is appreciated, until it comes to pretty firm rebuttal.

Maybe that's just me....but it would be interesting to know if others have had similar experiences.

Some of what rach06 describes may be conventional AS reaction to environmental/social distress. He communicates that it hurts him by hurting others.

But you do need to explore whether to any extent his peers are inciting these reactions through subtle bullying or more blatent provocation, to get such a reaction as entertainment.

Is rach06's son being buillied at school? The teachers may well not know this is happening.