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help please newly diagnosed and behavioural issues

rach06

Could do with a bit help been newly diagnosed as on the spectrum and life is a strugle atm feels like walking on egg shells half the time to stop full blown arguments and bursts of aggressive behaviour my son is so argumentitive and has to be right wont be wrong and if u dare argue thats when name calling punching kicking biteing head banging beginns. From the moment he gets up hes argueing with sibleings ect but at school no behaviour shown. Yet at home its a diffrent story. Going to bed  is an aguement and if i dare say anything he has to be right again getting in ur face spoke to schòol and they make u feel like a lier and ur  makeing it up c.h.a.ms wont take him on as he dont fit critere is it just me parenting coz thats how im starting to feel.

Parents

  • There is also a 'sticky' relevant to this topic, at the top of the threads under Diagnosis and Assessment, entitled "Different behaviour between school and home" It was set up in October 2013 by Intenseworld.

    The problem with school is the extreme pressure to fit in. It really becomes essential to conform, both to school authority and to his peer group. This is why things get bad in teens when it just gets too difficult to conform.

    Home provides a refuge and escape and an opportunity to let go. The pressure that builds up keeping things bottled in at school has to have a release and it comes to the surface at home, away from the presence of his contemporaries. Ironically that means hurting the people who most give him sanctuary and love.

    Schools do not understand this enough. Also there is still astonishingly little understanding of living with autism (as distinct from theorising about the Triad of Impairments which is a diagnostic tool not a measuring rod for describing the condition!).

    It is appalling that no-one at the school understands it and puts the blame on the parents. But until we start treating autism in terms of how people live with it daily, rather than squandering resources on electrode based/MRI based scans of obscure relationships, help for people on the spectrum is never going to improve.

Reply

  • There is also a 'sticky' relevant to this topic, at the top of the threads under Diagnosis and Assessment, entitled "Different behaviour between school and home" It was set up in October 2013 by Intenseworld.

    The problem with school is the extreme pressure to fit in. It really becomes essential to conform, both to school authority and to his peer group. This is why things get bad in teens when it just gets too difficult to conform.

    Home provides a refuge and escape and an opportunity to let go. The pressure that builds up keeping things bottled in at school has to have a release and it comes to the surface at home, away from the presence of his contemporaries. Ironically that means hurting the people who most give him sanctuary and love.

    Schools do not understand this enough. Also there is still astonishingly little understanding of living with autism (as distinct from theorising about the Triad of Impairments which is a diagnostic tool not a measuring rod for describing the condition!).

    It is appalling that no-one at the school understands it and puts the blame on the parents. But until we start treating autism in terms of how people live with it daily, rather than squandering resources on electrode based/MRI based scans of obscure relationships, help for people on the spectrum is never going to improve.

Children
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