help please newly diagnosed and behavioural issues

Could do with a bit help been newly diagnosed as on the spectrum and life is a strugle atm feels like walking on egg shells half the time to stop full blown arguments and bursts of aggressive behaviour my son is so argumentitive and has to be right wont be wrong and if u dare argue thats when name calling punching kicking biteing head banging beginns. From the moment he gets up hes argueing with sibleings ect but at school no behaviour shown. Yet at home its a diffrent story. Going to bed  is an aguement and if i dare say anything he has to be right again getting in ur face spoke to schòol and they make u feel like a lier and ur  makeing it up c.h.a.ms wont take him on as he dont fit critere is it just me parenting coz thats how im starting to feel.

Parents
  • Hi rach06,

     You may find my advice on a previous thread helpful then. I suggest you read the whole thread so you can see the links also posted.

    community.autism.org.uk/.../29683

    As a parent you are entitled to submit a statement about your sons needs yourself for consideration to the LA. I strongly advise you do this.

    During the statement process for one of my sons the LA stedfastly, refused to assess his needs. My son was diagnosed with speach and language difficulties, auditory processing difficulties, Dyslexia, Developmental co-ordination difficulties (Fine motor skill issues) and ASD. Even then, the LA felt justified in refusing to assess.

    We had to take the LA to Tribunal to appeal that decision. Without our input by way of a written statement, it's unlikely tribunal would have had the full evidence necessary to outline our sons needs, as the School records were patchy at best. The School were also refusing to refer him to various agencies, so we had to get him referered ourselves through our GP. The waiting lists for these agencies were incredably long, so in the meantime we got our son idependantly assessed by an OT, Speach and language therapist, and Ed Psych. These reports were the most detailed as the assessments were done over a longer period of time and often in more depth.

    When the motion from Tribunal found in our favour the LA were ordered to assess his needs, which they did, but still refused a statement based on the fact that any support given by the School had not had a chance to be assessed for it's impact.

    We then had to go back to tribunal to appeal that decision. The School turned up to tribunal with a single piece of paper with one sentence written on it, for five years of purpoted intervention! This apparently totaled the intervention my son received. ie. Nothing. The tribunal found again in our favour and the LA were ordered to put together a statement with immediate effect. They took considerable time to complete this and when it arrived it wasn't worth the paper it was written on. Full of ambiguous statements that were of no help for my sons needs at all. It was entirely inadequate. We re-wrote the statement completely with IPSEA's support and threatened to appeal again to tribunal. Finally, the LA conceeded and issued a revised statement to cover his needs. More or less verbatum of what the Lawyer at IPSEA had guided us to write. The sad part is, that by the time the statement was issued, My son was in the second year of secondary School and had endured years of lost intervention opotunities, A real Tragedy. 

    I'm not trying to scare you or suggesting your LA or School will adopt the same poor policy mine did, or even that you will have to endure the same process of tribunal as the system has changed since September 2015, but in these cash strapped times it seems the directives are all about the money they need to save, with little regard to the wellbeing of the child.

    Addtionally, you mention that the School don't see most of the behaviour you witness and have to deal with at home. This means they only have a limited view of his condition and not the whole picture. They will only submit to the LA what they witness at School. If your son is high fuctioning, this may not take any account of executive function or other elements of his condition.

    As You and pinkPixie have common ground it maybe and idea to exchange experiences and ideas. I wish i'd known about this forum in my time. Sadly, I endured the trials all alone and frankly, it nearly broke me having to fight such a small minded LA. Others have had much easier experiences, but you do need to be firm on what you need for your child.

    Hope I've not upset you with my advice, I just feel it's best to put you in the picture with regard to some of the issues that can occur and as you say, it seems the School are not really on board, which sadly, is a familliar story.

    Good luck

    Coogy bear

Reply
  • Hi rach06,

     You may find my advice on a previous thread helpful then. I suggest you read the whole thread so you can see the links also posted.

    community.autism.org.uk/.../29683

    As a parent you are entitled to submit a statement about your sons needs yourself for consideration to the LA. I strongly advise you do this.

    During the statement process for one of my sons the LA stedfastly, refused to assess his needs. My son was diagnosed with speach and language difficulties, auditory processing difficulties, Dyslexia, Developmental co-ordination difficulties (Fine motor skill issues) and ASD. Even then, the LA felt justified in refusing to assess.

    We had to take the LA to Tribunal to appeal that decision. Without our input by way of a written statement, it's unlikely tribunal would have had the full evidence necessary to outline our sons needs, as the School records were patchy at best. The School were also refusing to refer him to various agencies, so we had to get him referered ourselves through our GP. The waiting lists for these agencies were incredably long, so in the meantime we got our son idependantly assessed by an OT, Speach and language therapist, and Ed Psych. These reports were the most detailed as the assessments were done over a longer period of time and often in more depth.

    When the motion from Tribunal found in our favour the LA were ordered to assess his needs, which they did, but still refused a statement based on the fact that any support given by the School had not had a chance to be assessed for it's impact.

    We then had to go back to tribunal to appeal that decision. The School turned up to tribunal with a single piece of paper with one sentence written on it, for five years of purpoted intervention! This apparently totaled the intervention my son received. ie. Nothing. The tribunal found again in our favour and the LA were ordered to put together a statement with immediate effect. They took considerable time to complete this and when it arrived it wasn't worth the paper it was written on. Full of ambiguous statements that were of no help for my sons needs at all. It was entirely inadequate. We re-wrote the statement completely with IPSEA's support and threatened to appeal again to tribunal. Finally, the LA conceeded and issued a revised statement to cover his needs. More or less verbatum of what the Lawyer at IPSEA had guided us to write. The sad part is, that by the time the statement was issued, My son was in the second year of secondary School and had endured years of lost intervention opotunities, A real Tragedy. 

    I'm not trying to scare you or suggesting your LA or School will adopt the same poor policy mine did, or even that you will have to endure the same process of tribunal as the system has changed since September 2015, but in these cash strapped times it seems the directives are all about the money they need to save, with little regard to the wellbeing of the child.

    Addtionally, you mention that the School don't see most of the behaviour you witness and have to deal with at home. This means they only have a limited view of his condition and not the whole picture. They will only submit to the LA what they witness at School. If your son is high fuctioning, this may not take any account of executive function or other elements of his condition.

    As You and pinkPixie have common ground it maybe and idea to exchange experiences and ideas. I wish i'd known about this forum in my time. Sadly, I endured the trials all alone and frankly, it nearly broke me having to fight such a small minded LA. Others have had much easier experiences, but you do need to be firm on what you need for your child.

    Hope I've not upset you with my advice, I just feel it's best to put you in the picture with regard to some of the issues that can occur and as you say, it seems the School are not really on board, which sadly, is a familliar story.

    Good luck

    Coogy bear

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