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feeling like a bad person

Lydia

does else worry about being a bad person? I try really hard to be a good person but I only ever seem to make everyone I love unhappy due to my unreasonable demands for attention, patience, reassurance and support. By people, I mean more specifically my parents. I am twenty but I rely totally on them for almost everything. I am like a child in how much I need them. It doesn't help that along with my Asperger's, I have a long standing history of anorexia. This means that I basically rely on them to feed me and reassure me about the food and myself.

I am basically a drain. I take and never give.

I also think that I will never have a family of my own, even though I really want one. First, I have no idea how relationships work. Second, I am such a waste of space that no one would ever be able to love me who didn't already have some kind of obligation to do so (like my parents do)

anyway, sorry for being miserable and dramatic. Just feeling down.

also, sorry for not replying to people's posts here for a while. That's another thing which I worry makes me a bad, selfish person.

sorry.

Parents

  • The fact you are conscious of the issues of dependancy and a desire to do more for yourself and be less of an imposition on your parents does you credit and provides you with impetus.

    This dilemma affects many young people (besides those on the spectrum) and moreso nowadays, given it is so difficult to achieve independence. There does seem to be greater numbers of young people living at home into their thirties. Buying a house is prohibitively expensive, and needs two salaries of sufficient size to start a mortgage, so you have to have formed a partnership of some kind. Options such as shared ownership with a housing association are incredibly burdensome and often restrict the benefits of selling to move up the housing ladder. But even renting is very expensive. House sharing is an option if you are socially adept to the lifestyle - but it isn't an easy option for people on the spectrum.

    So it is not at all unusual to be still at home at 20. I guess though you do not say, that you have not been able to find work, which means you cannot offer an independent income, and the benefits system is now very complex were that a ready option.

    Therefore don't blame the autism for your current dependancy, it is a much more widespread phenomenon.

    What Marjorie195 says about delayed maturity is probably true of males. Certainly I experienced bizarrely staggered episodes of what should clearly have happened in my teens, at various stages through my twenties, and was incredibly naive about a lot of things until my early thirties.

    The trouble is most of what we know about autistic spectrum seems to stop at aged 18. Far too little is known about the life beyond transition.

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  • The fact you are conscious of the issues of dependancy and a desire to do more for yourself and be less of an imposition on your parents does you credit and provides you with impetus.

    This dilemma affects many young people (besides those on the spectrum) and moreso nowadays, given it is so difficult to achieve independence. There does seem to be greater numbers of young people living at home into their thirties. Buying a house is prohibitively expensive, and needs two salaries of sufficient size to start a mortgage, so you have to have formed a partnership of some kind. Options such as shared ownership with a housing association are incredibly burdensome and often restrict the benefits of selling to move up the housing ladder. But even renting is very expensive. House sharing is an option if you are socially adept to the lifestyle - but it isn't an easy option for people on the spectrum.

    So it is not at all unusual to be still at home at 20. I guess though you do not say, that you have not been able to find work, which means you cannot offer an independent income, and the benefits system is now very complex were that a ready option.

    Therefore don't blame the autism for your current dependancy, it is a much more widespread phenomenon.

    What Marjorie195 says about delayed maturity is probably true of males. Certainly I experienced bizarrely staggered episodes of what should clearly have happened in my teens, at various stages through my twenties, and was incredibly naive about a lot of things until my early thirties.

    The trouble is most of what we know about autistic spectrum seems to stop at aged 18. Far too little is known about the life beyond transition.

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