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feeling like a bad person

Lydia

does else worry about being a bad person? I try really hard to be a good person but I only ever seem to make everyone I love unhappy due to my unreasonable demands for attention, patience, reassurance and support. By people, I mean more specifically my parents. I am twenty but I rely totally on them for almost everything. I am like a child in how much I need them. It doesn't help that along with my Asperger's, I have a long standing history of anorexia. This means that I basically rely on them to feed me and reassure me about the food and myself.

I am basically a drain. I take and never give.

I also think that I will never have a family of my own, even though I really want one. First, I have no idea how relationships work. Second, I am such a waste of space that no one would ever be able to love me who didn't already have some kind of obligation to do so (like my parents do)

anyway, sorry for being miserable and dramatic. Just feeling down.

also, sorry for not replying to people's posts here for a while. That's another thing which I worry makes me a bad, selfish person.

sorry.

Parents
  • Former Member
    Former Member

    You sound like a caring and thoughtful person who worries about your impact on the people around you. If you were a bad person you wouldn't care for them. There is a two-way bond between parents and their children that is incredibly tough and resilient that means that neither side will do things that will hurt the other. Sometimes we forget who we are or what is really going on but at the end of the day you will remember that the dreams of both sides depend on the other side doing their bit.

    I think you will work out gradually, with trial and error, how to find and sustain a relationship. The world is absolutely full of lonely, sensitive, vulnerable people who need a soul mate who can be brave enough to share their loneliness, sensitivity and vulnerability with you. You don't want to find someone who will tend to your every need and become a replacement parent for you and who will love you unconditionally. You need someone who will put up with you in return for you putting up with their foibles. You want someone with their own interests who will allow you the time and space to follow your own interests. You will find someone who will share a lot, bot not all, of their time with you.

    I don't claim to know much about anorexia but I think that it ends up with you punishing your body for some reason that won't really stand up to much scrutiny. People do beat it and learn not to be so harsh on themselves.

    xxx

    'Socks

Reply
  • Former Member
    Former Member

    You sound like a caring and thoughtful person who worries about your impact on the people around you. If you were a bad person you wouldn't care for them. There is a two-way bond between parents and their children that is incredibly tough and resilient that means that neither side will do things that will hurt the other. Sometimes we forget who we are or what is really going on but at the end of the day you will remember that the dreams of both sides depend on the other side doing their bit.

    I think you will work out gradually, with trial and error, how to find and sustain a relationship. The world is absolutely full of lonely, sensitive, vulnerable people who need a soul mate who can be brave enough to share their loneliness, sensitivity and vulnerability with you. You don't want to find someone who will tend to your every need and become a replacement parent for you and who will love you unconditionally. You need someone who will put up with you in return for you putting up with their foibles. You want someone with their own interests who will allow you the time and space to follow your own interests. You will find someone who will share a lot, bot not all, of their time with you.

    I don't claim to know much about anorexia but I think that it ends up with you punishing your body for some reason that won't really stand up to much scrutiny. People do beat it and learn not to be so harsh on themselves.

    xxx

    'Socks

Children
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