The British stiff upper lip

When I have looked at any questionnaires etc which are designed to give an indication of whether someone is on the spectrum, there are always questions about whether other people tell you that you are rude or insensitive and so on.

I don't find that people make these sort of comments as a rule. They are polite, but tend to walk away, or avoid you, and just let you know they don't much like you by actions rather than words.

I have been reading about asd and emotions and about the idea that we have an on/off switch rather than a dial, for our emotions. I certainly find this description fits me. If I am very upset, I cannot stop myself from crying, even in public places. My temper is volcanic and I just can't stop it in some situations. When happy, I often laugh until I cry and my sides hurt. I am just not very British.

When I have travelled abroad, I have seen men arguing loudly and happily in cafes. Here it seems to be taboo to be heated about anything, we are expected to be rational and calm. The bereaved in other countries cry openly, but if someone sheds more than a quiet, polite tear at a funeral here, they are deemed "out of control and undignified".

This leads me to the question:- Are British people with asd more at a disadvantage than our counterparts from cultures that are more expressive?

Parents
  • I belong to a walking group. We talk as we walk. Therefore, we do not look at each other much. It is easy to go and talk to someone else, if either party wants to. So there is no need for eye contact and we need not worry too much about body language. I suppose it is more like a phone conversation, in that respect.

    I also enjoy listening to spoken radio programs. I wonder if this is a better communication medium for those on the spectrum, because everything is spelt out verbally, no faces to read or body language. We only have to think about tone of voice.

Reply
  • I belong to a walking group. We talk as we walk. Therefore, we do not look at each other much. It is easy to go and talk to someone else, if either party wants to. So there is no need for eye contact and we need not worry too much about body language. I suppose it is more like a phone conversation, in that respect.

    I also enjoy listening to spoken radio programs. I wonder if this is a better communication medium for those on the spectrum, because everything is spelt out verbally, no faces to read or body language. We only have to think about tone of voice.

Children
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