Think happier thoughts

Moving on from cbt, we can take control of our own thoughts with practice.

If you think of a series of thoughts in terms of making a candle by the dipping method, then each time you think a particular series of thoughts, you dip your string in wax and let it dry. It becomes thicker each time and if your thoughts follow common routes, then what was once a narrow path can become a main road and one you use most often.

 You need to turn off and find a pleasant back road and make that your chosen route instead.

When you feel down, your mouth turns down, and you see yourself as a sad person, literally if you look in a mirror. So step 1 can be to smile whenever you see your reflection. You may not want to, but put yourself in personal boot camp and make it compulsory, it will change the way you see yourself eventually.

Step 2 is to lift your head when out and look at/watch the world around you. I play games everywhere I go. When outside I look at buildings and pick the ones I like and the "carbuncles", everywhere has good and bad architecture. Look up the ones you like, acquire some knowledge.

My other favourite game is the "buy a gift for someone" game. You don't buy it, just choose something, in every shop. So  pick a person you know, not necessarily someone you like and choose a suitable gift. You can choose with love or hate in mind. So if you like a person select a nice piece of furnature  or a food item etc. I have a great time in touristy gift shops on holiday looking at all those plaques with messages on and thinking who I would present them to. Some are quite pithy.

You may think this sounds a bit odd, but it will take you off the negative highway onto the happier distracting back road. You can get other people to join in. My husband and I go round National Trust houses picking something to take home from every room.

The key thing , is to force yourself to do it when your head is full of poison, and find the game that amuses you. It works for me.

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Parents
  • I agree that the asd life can cause mental illness, but I don't agree that that necessitates special treatment for that illness. People on the spectrum may benefit from guidance on how to get along with people, to get rid of some of the problems which lead to illness, but that is a separate issue. I believe children get this help.

    I have not read anything about CBT, so my knowledge comes entirely from you. However, what you descibe sounds very much like what I was told. Challenge negative thinking and try and see life from another point of view. I expect there is much more to it than that, but that is the gist I am getting.

    So what is significantly different about my approach? I had to stop thinking that there was no way out of my miserable existance. I had to stop believing that I was some sort of bad person because no one appeared to like me at work. That was my motorway to nowhere. I shouted STOP, to put an end to the negativity, but once you have stopped thinking that way, you have to imediately fill the thought space with something better. Every time you slip into the old bad ways of thinking, you have to stop, turn away and follow a new path. That is how you build new thinking habits.

    The paperwork given to me, to back this up is available on line. It is the standard way to deal with anxiety etc. I cannot imagine that the NHS will ever be able to provide a one to one support, to challenge every negative thought that the asd person can present. Your example of the man on the clapham omnibus is exactly the same. You ask the reasonable third party, "am I thinking sensibly" If the answer is no, then you have to think something else, or about something else (distraction). You may remember suggesting this strategy to me recently when I posted about stress after socialising. This is the way I live my life, it's a battle, it's tiring and I benefit from new ideas of how to shake off the bad thoughts at 3am. I have taken to reading a chapter of a book, untill I forget about it. I have a mental image of a chap hanging on to the pole of a Routemaster saying "you are thinking rubbish again". Sometimes, I believe my negative thoughts are reasonable so I have to take the feasibility of changing what happened into account, to make it unreasonable.

    What I think I am trying to say is, we can get bogged down in thinking we are a special case, but the negative approach of "I cannot get better because" is the standard approach of the depressed person and not unique to those with asd. It is the very first negative thought that needs to be challenged.

Reply
  • I agree that the asd life can cause mental illness, but I don't agree that that necessitates special treatment for that illness. People on the spectrum may benefit from guidance on how to get along with people, to get rid of some of the problems which lead to illness, but that is a separate issue. I believe children get this help.

    I have not read anything about CBT, so my knowledge comes entirely from you. However, what you descibe sounds very much like what I was told. Challenge negative thinking and try and see life from another point of view. I expect there is much more to it than that, but that is the gist I am getting.

    So what is significantly different about my approach? I had to stop thinking that there was no way out of my miserable existance. I had to stop believing that I was some sort of bad person because no one appeared to like me at work. That was my motorway to nowhere. I shouted STOP, to put an end to the negativity, but once you have stopped thinking that way, you have to imediately fill the thought space with something better. Every time you slip into the old bad ways of thinking, you have to stop, turn away and follow a new path. That is how you build new thinking habits.

    The paperwork given to me, to back this up is available on line. It is the standard way to deal with anxiety etc. I cannot imagine that the NHS will ever be able to provide a one to one support, to challenge every negative thought that the asd person can present. Your example of the man on the clapham omnibus is exactly the same. You ask the reasonable third party, "am I thinking sensibly" If the answer is no, then you have to think something else, or about something else (distraction). You may remember suggesting this strategy to me recently when I posted about stress after socialising. This is the way I live my life, it's a battle, it's tiring and I benefit from new ideas of how to shake off the bad thoughts at 3am. I have taken to reading a chapter of a book, untill I forget about it. I have a mental image of a chap hanging on to the pole of a Routemaster saying "you are thinking rubbish again". Sometimes, I believe my negative thoughts are reasonable so I have to take the feasibility of changing what happened into account, to make it unreasonable.

    What I think I am trying to say is, we can get bogged down in thinking we are a special case, but the negative approach of "I cannot get better because" is the standard approach of the depressed person and not unique to those with asd. It is the very first negative thought that needs to be challenged.

Children
  • "I agree that the ASD life can cause mental illness, but I don't agree that that necessitates special treatment for that illness. People on the spectrum may benefit from guidance on how to get along with people, to get rid of some of the problems which lead to illness, but that is a separate issue. I believe children get this help.W

    Sorry but I have to disagree with you and the person you are agreeing with.  It's not the "autistic life" which causes mental illness.  it's people's attitudes towards our condition and the way they interact with us.  It's the environment that can make or brake a person on the spectrum.  Carry on down the line of thinking you've just proposed in your quote; and you'll end up suicidal; I'm assuming you are on the spectrum.