Why is my manager copying me?

I love my job and everything but I don't even know if he is actually copying me or is it just the way I think like is it ust me? Like last year when I started my job, his appearance of his hairstyle was all down not spiking up, but after more than a year of working there, I had plenty of haircuts and I had my hair spiking up longer at the front and everything, then I remember the first time he saw it he said he quite liked that, then I think about a few weeks later, his hairstyle was sort of the same but he changed the front to spiking up. I'm a young man and he's way older than me but then after that, I didn't wear the white clothes to work instead lately I worn a purple ish colour shirt to work then a few wees later, he started wearing a different colour shirt other than white like he picked a dark blue with a small tie what young people like my age would norammly wear, then recently, he keeps saying his hair aways stick up and it's huge when he did comment about mine doing that mainly a lot of times. I don't know why this annoys me but I really don't like the way he keeps copying me well if he is or it's just a coincidence anyway. It's so annoying me though, I want my personaility and style to be DIFFERENT than his, I don't want him to keep copying me anymore. He can change is appearance but he'll never be able to change his age to mine, he'll always be a lot older than me! Arghhh I don't know why, had to get it out there, he's a awesome person and everything good to get on with but I do get annoyed when he copys me, I'm the youngest worker in the whole firm at the moment and I don't know why but keep having this weird way of thinking that he's trying to look young like me!

Does aspergers make people think like this? Like a different way or strange ways of thinking, don't really know how to describe it.

  • ^This is exactly what I was thinking. I wouldn't be surprised if your boss turned up to work tomorrow in a brand-new beamer with under-body lighting! But yeah, like other people have said, you should take it as a compliment that he copies your style! Maybe you're just one handsome devil? :p

  • It sounds to me like your manager is going through a mid-life crisis. Many middle aged men suddenly realise they are getting older and some try to present themselves as younger by copying young styles, buying sports cars, looking for young girlfriends etc. It's a bit sad, but quite common.

    It's nothing to do with you being Aspie, but it's very flattering that he rates your looks as the model to copy. He would not do this unless he admired you as a person too, because no-one wants to look like a person they don't respect.

    He probably doesn't realise how obvious he's being or how you feel about it. You clearly both get along well, which is the important thing. It would be a shame if his copying your style got in the way of what is otherwise a good working relationship, so if you just see it as a phase he is going through, perhaps it will be easier for you to cope with.

  • Neo-tribalism? Explains much about NT group hostility even whereas the individuals can be friendly/tolerant.

  • I worked in an office with 5 others for several years. We got on well, mainly. We often found we were wearing similar colours and styles of clothes after a while, and used to joke that it was the office uniform. I suspect it is a subconscious thing, maybe bonding into a group. Or maybe we just liked what we saw other people wear, and bought similar items.

  • NTs because they are better at picking up non-verbal symbols are able to conform to the collective.

    The classic illustration is to be seen in formal meetings of one or two workers with their manager. The manager crosses his legs. Within a few minutes the other two cross their legs. The manager clasps both hands together, the two workers follow suit. There must be limits to this otherwise it becomes parady, but it seems to be a human behaviorism to align your behaviour, whether that's to someoneone in authority or a group.

    As others have said it may be part flattery, but also your boss is trying to emulate cool, and he sees something he thinks will make him stand out less obviously as the boss, so he tries to blend in.

    There are some advantages to being on the autistic spectrum. You have to step back and look at human behaviour like an anthropologist (or play being David Attenborough). A lot of collective human behaviour is hilarious to watch. We are basically just monkeys, and we behave like monkeys when we are in a pack.

  • Former Member
    Former Member

    I agree with outraged. you are setting the trend where you work :-)

    Not everything that happens to us is because of, or in anyway related to, our autism.

    Sounds a bit creepy and irritating all the same. :-(

  • Imitation is the highest form of flattery...