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Commuting

aimosan

I moved to a big city a couple of years ago, because of problems with my ex, no work prospects, and thought I needed a fresh start.  I live over 100 miles from my town I was used to.  Now, over time I've found a great guy who looks after me very well and have a good-ish paying job.  However, I've had to move in and out of several places within the city centre but now I've moved in with my partner and it's very cramped.  We pay £750 a month rent for a one bedroom place that is about 40 sq m, or less, as the housing here is terrible.  I find it very stressful living in the cramped space.  If I could I would move back to my town in an instant, where housing is a third of the price, and the pace of life is much slower, but the work isn't there that I do, and the same for my partner.  

To get space for a reasonable price we would need to move more than 10 miles out of the city.  I've lived that far away from my job before but I was able to commute in my own car (there was no public transport for that area at the time anyway) but if I was to use my car to get to work a 10 miles journey would take me about an hour and the parking would be £200 a month, minimum.  The only other option is bus journey.  Same length of time, or longer, and would cost a minimum of £140 a month.  The road system is really bad in this area, the council are always talking about what they are going to do about it, but they just seem to go round in circles.

The main problem is, after that ramble, I don't know if I can cope with feeling trapped.  I pnic on public transport, and if I drove knowing I'd have to fight through traffic for an hour just to drive the 15 miles home fills me with anxiety.  There are times when I have driven in rush hour and it took me nearly 30 minutes to do 1.4 miles :/

I'd love to move back home away from this, but I'm not going anywhere without my partner, and I can't make him give up a job he loves either just because I am scared of commuting.  I'm maybe not looking for advice here, just expressing my troubles to anyone who will listen.  

  • I can't work from home, but I have tried doing more crafts over the past year hoping that if I was to start a family or whatever I could do that working from home instead.  But, that's a while away.  I just feel claustrophobic on the bus, like I do in most places.  My gran was the same, she was on the spectrum too.

    As for CBT I've told my doctors several times that the CBT I've had in the past has helped but the waiting lists are ridiculous here and I was on a psychologist waiting list for 8 months only to be turned away saying they didn't think I needed help for some reason.  I have another appointment on the 5th November and I have to really state my case this time and say listen to meeee I'm suffering. Help!

  • Former Member
    Former Member

    Have you tried conselling or CBT to defeat your anxieties about public transport? I know a number of others here (including outraged) really struggle with public transport but I think that it is a problem that can be overcome for some people. Personally I feel completely safe on buses, most people keep themselves to themselves and the buses usually have CCTV so are rarely troubled by disruptive drunks and yoof. The buses in my area also have wifi so you can read the news or surf the net on the way to work. This all makes it more pleasant than buses used to be.

  • Is working from home at all possible in your proffession?