Was diagnosed in October and struggling

Hi, GemmaC  welcome to the community. I'm late diagnosed autistic female,  I'm 38, got diagnosed on Thursday 12th of November. So im waiting for my report. I'm overwhelmed with everything around me, getting to an assessment was hard, I wasn't even sure if it ever happens,  because of long waiting times and other obstacles- no involvement from any informant from my childhood, etc. But I managed it. I'm not sure, what now. But I'm happy, that im here. And I wish you also find this place supportive. Do you have any intrest now? I love space, painting pictures with astronomical events and landscapes and lego. Connecting them all I dp comics stories and publish them here.

Hi! It’s lovely to meet you . Thank you for taking the time to respond to my message. I found reading through my report very validating. For the first time in my life I felt heard. How open have you been about your diagnosis? I have been quite open about it with some family and some people at work. However, I have been struggling. Mainly it’s trying to work out who the real me is as I’m slowly letting myself unmask. I’ve also been going back to my past and finding parts of my life that are now making sense to me. I also feel grief for my younger self. I will be curious to know how you feel once you read your feedback. If it’s not too personal a question, what was your reaction upon receiving your diagnosis? I broke down. I also get occasional feelings of imposter syndrome. I am slowly getting back into some hobbies. I do enjoy watching true crime documentaries, due to burn out I have found that I have lost interest in doing stuff I used to enjoy. 

Hi! It’s lovely to meet you . Thank you for taking the time to respond to my message. I found reading through my report very validating. For the first time in my life I felt heard. How open have you been about your diagnosis? I have been quite open about it with some family and some people at work. However, I have been struggling. Mainly it’s trying to work out who the real me is as I’m slowly letting myself unmask. I’ve also been going back to my past and finding parts of my life that are now making sense to me. I also feel grief for my younger self. I will be curious to know how you feel once you read your feedback. If it’s not too personal a question, what was your reaction upon receiving your diagnosis? I broke down. I also get occasional feelings of imposter syndrome. I am slowly getting back into some hobbies. I do enjoy watching true crime documentaries, due to burn out I have found that I have lost interest in doing stuff I used to enjoy. 

I felt nothing special and I don't feel much right now. I only asked the assessor few times if she is sure that it's autism and not something else instead. I was also kind of frustrated that she was not as much interested as i expected her to be, with the documentation I collected- old school certificates, old reports etc. I struggle to recognise what I feel, so it's gonna take time to figure it out. But it's nothing intense. I'm not gonna mask or unmask, I'm so exhausted that the only things I would like to do whole days is only watching videos about space and build with lego blocks. My husband supports me and he did during the process, also took part in it. He was curious, so of course I shared the diagnosis with him. Otherwise noone else from my family is going to know, because they failed me at the worst moment and the only reaction I would expect from them would be a laugh and some stupid comments. 

I'm not open about it at work. Only if the boss asks, I will bring him the report. But the boss is very much uninterested with everything so I doubt he would bother. The only place I announced it openly is here. The big world - from my experience I can say the big world won't understand me with or without diagnosis. That doesn't change much. Plus social media videos make it look less seriously. Once I felt weak and my colleague asked me if I'm ill or something. I told him I'm in diagnostic process. Didn't mention for what. He started laughing and asked me if I'm diagnosing myself with tiktok. I was confused,  I said no, I'm just waiting for blood test results. Then he changed his expression and stopped joking. Yes, the blood test results were also needed for the autism diagnostic process, but its none of his business. This is the reality now unfortunately.