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Grabbed and shoved

OAP - Older Autistic Person

I work for a major retailer, delivering and installing white goods etc.

I got to a customer address yesterday and there was an issue because he had put the delivery address as one unit on an industrial estate, but wanted it delivered to the unit next door.

The usual procedure in this sort of situation is to ask the customer for proof of purchase, as we are only meant to deliver to the exact address on our manifest, but have permission if the customer can prove who they are etc.

I asked for the information, and the customer grabbed me by both shoulders, shoved me down a corridor, nearly making me fall, and shouted, "They're joined together." How was I supposed to know that? He then went and got the information I'd asked for.

No matter how frustrated or annoyed he may have been, laying hands on me was not acceptable, so I told him loudly to get his hands off me. This was a VERY problematic trigger for me, as I am Autistic and do not like being touched by strangers.

I decided to report it to the police as assault. Fortunately, my colleague witnessed the incident. It took me an hour to calm down enough and self-regulate enough to call it in to our management.

WTF is wrong with people?

He did not apologise, even after I stated that I am Autistic and him grabbing me was distressing.

Today my shoulders ache; not necessarily from being grabbed, but because I am tense and stressed as a consequence of his actions.

Parents
  • OAP - Older Autistic Person said:
    WTF is wrong with people?

    I think that the general answer to that is "modern social and psychological pressures".  As for that specific one person they clearly were not being socially appropriate and indeed their reaction does warrant reporting in my opinion and maybe the individual reasons might come out.  It clearly wasn't you simply doing your job well and appropriately - they for some reason couldn't appreciate that and you were "in the firing line" and I'm upset for you - I certainly would be upset too and it would take me a little time and support to get over it too.

    OAP - Older Autistic Person said:
    even after I stated that I am Autistic

    likely a "red rag to a bull" - someone who is that far from being of balanced mind I think unlikely to be able to empathise - hopefully at the end of this they will see they were well and truly wrong to behave how they did no matter who they did it to under the circumstances - in my opinion.

    Yep stress and tension causes pain in my experience too - appreciating that you don't do being touched by strangers maybe under the circumstances a friend could help by gently giving your shoulders a rub or a cuddle - or do so for oneself - that'd be what i'd look for personally.  But being aware that "bodies carry memories" and when they come out it can initially trigger the memories - sometimes they can be painful too and so I try to be careful and gentle on myself under such circumstances.

    Best wishes

Reply
  • OAP - Older Autistic Person said:
    WTF is wrong with people?

    I think that the general answer to that is "modern social and psychological pressures".  As for that specific one person they clearly were not being socially appropriate and indeed their reaction does warrant reporting in my opinion and maybe the individual reasons might come out.  It clearly wasn't you simply doing your job well and appropriately - they for some reason couldn't appreciate that and you were "in the firing line" and I'm upset for you - I certainly would be upset too and it would take me a little time and support to get over it too.

    OAP - Older Autistic Person said:
    even after I stated that I am Autistic

    likely a "red rag to a bull" - someone who is that far from being of balanced mind I think unlikely to be able to empathise - hopefully at the end of this they will see they were well and truly wrong to behave how they did no matter who they did it to under the circumstances - in my opinion.

    Yep stress and tension causes pain in my experience too - appreciating that you don't do being touched by strangers maybe under the circumstances a friend could help by gently giving your shoulders a rub or a cuddle - or do so for oneself - that'd be what i'd look for personally.  But being aware that "bodies carry memories" and when they come out it can initially trigger the memories - sometimes they can be painful too and so I try to be careful and gentle on myself under such circumstances.

    Best wishes

Children
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