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Grabbed and shoved

OAP - Older Autistic Person

I work for a major retailer, delivering and installing white goods etc.

I got to a customer address yesterday and there was an issue because he had put the delivery address as one unit on an industrial estate, but wanted it delivered to the unit next door.

The usual procedure in this sort of situation is to ask the customer for proof of purchase, as we are only meant to deliver to the exact address on our manifest, but have permission if the customer can prove who they are etc.

I asked for the information, and the customer grabbed me by both shoulders, shoved me down a corridor, nearly making me fall, and shouted, "They're joined together." How was I supposed to know that? He then went and got the information I'd asked for.

No matter how frustrated or annoyed he may have been, laying hands on me was not acceptable, so I told him loudly to get his hands off me. This was a VERY problematic trigger for me, as I am Autistic and do not like being touched by strangers.

I decided to report it to the police as assault. Fortunately, my colleague witnessed the incident. It took me an hour to calm down enough and self-regulate enough to call it in to our management.

WTF is wrong with people?

He did not apologise, even after I stated that I am Autistic and him grabbing me was distressing.

Today my shoulders ache; not necessarily from being grabbed, but because I am tense and stressed as a consequence of his actions.

Parents

  • Yes, it must be very distressing for you, OAP, and I think I can appreciate what it is like to be assaulted in that way because I would probably react the same way, and it would take some time to calm down and, as you say, self-regulate. It's difficult to comment on why this person reacted the way he did, but it's possible he was under stress, and the issue of delivery to the wrong unit was the straw that broke the camel's back. He wouldn't have known you were autistic so I’d like to think that if it were explained to him, he would feel remorseful about the way he acted. What makes it unfair is that it wasn’t your fault - you were simply doing what you were told, which adds insult to injury. Unfortunately, in a job where you interact with people from all over, this kind of situation should be expected from time to time, and for an autistic person, it can be especially challenging. Sadly, we don’t live in a perfect world, and we all need to make a living. Unless you’re very lucky, we can’t choose the ideal job that perfectly fits our particular personality.

    Having said all this, it WAS assault and there is no excuse for that, and this guy should be taken to task.

Reply

  • Yes, it must be very distressing for you, OAP, and I think I can appreciate what it is like to be assaulted in that way because I would probably react the same way, and it would take some time to calm down and, as you say, self-regulate. It's difficult to comment on why this person reacted the way he did, but it's possible he was under stress, and the issue of delivery to the wrong unit was the straw that broke the camel's back. He wouldn't have known you were autistic so I’d like to think that if it were explained to him, he would feel remorseful about the way he acted. What makes it unfair is that it wasn’t your fault - you were simply doing what you were told, which adds insult to injury. Unfortunately, in a job where you interact with people from all over, this kind of situation should be expected from time to time, and for an autistic person, it can be especially challenging. Sadly, we don’t live in a perfect world, and we all need to make a living. Unless you’re very lucky, we can’t choose the ideal job that perfectly fits our particular personality.

    Having said all this, it WAS assault and there is no excuse for that, and this guy should be taken to task.

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