How do you cope?

Glad your diagnosis has helped you make sense of many things. I can identify with that.

I love researching online too, but not always for things to do with autism or ADHD. I watch YouTube occasionally, but I find the advertisements are too much 'in my face' and much prefer written information as I can control the speed and content of the details.

What are you interested in?

Paranoia setting in!!!  Hoping for a response - life fascinates (and scares) me.  I love gardening, I'm not great at it, but it's my place to escape, so I spend a lot of time researching plants, garden designs and the like.  I've just started (at 65!) to try and learn how to play the guitar - hmm, difficult with AuDHD, but it takes me away from things (music is a great coping and motivating thing).  Psychology, philosophy and research methodology are probably my greatest passion.  I do use the Internet a lot for ideas ("images of ...").  I also watch YouTube stuff (yeh, the adverts can be a nuisance, but some of them are interesting, particularly those that appear when I'm doing Solitaire).  I'm constantly looking for ideas.  Sometimes when I feel low I call on YouTube for something to cheer me up - animals doing funny things (although a lot of the videos are a bit naff).  I've recently started watching those Talent YouTubes, only those that show how amazing people are.

What I'm not interested in is politics, sport and gossip!!

The therapist I see says I need to find "like minded people" - hmm, surely there must be someone out there?!!!

Hope you respond X

It’s easy to get confused here, especially when you’re new. I still get confused when replies to posts land some distance from the post to which I’m responding, or to the original post. There is some rationality to the order, it can be changed in settings, but it’s still confusing to work out.

Your description of your filing issues with your husband brought to mind an image of you both at a filing cabinet drawer and meeting in chaos in the middle, papers flying. I’m sure it’s not quite like that but the image amused me. I live on my own now so I no longer have that all too familiar tension over things being put in ‘irrational places’. Not that I have everything organised in my house, only some things are in the right place and I’m very good at keeping them that way, but the rest of my stuff is causing distress because I need it but can’t seem to organise things.

I see from your post to Alexa that you did Criminology as part of your degree. I did a Criminology module as part of my first degree with the OU. It was a fascinating subject in many respects, but not one that I could really get into, so it was my lowest scoring module although I got through it. The OU didn’t do archaeology, so I went to a traditional university for that and did a semi-distance part time Masters. The gap between undergraduate and masters was filled with various undergraduate bridging courses to enable me to specialise in secondary teaching, post graduate certificates, diplomas and my teaching qualification, a PGCE. I became a teacher but my career was cut short through illness. I was unable to return to teaching because it involved too much face to face time and was highly stressful. Returning to the subject of criminology, at the beginning of the course, I remember coming across the term ‘a nice comforting murder’ in relation to TV murder mysteries like ‘Midsomer Murders’  and ‘Miss Marple’. The public has a fascination for murder mysteries, comforting, disturbing, real or fictionalised. I’m afraid I can’t remember where that point lead to within real life criminological concerns, but I expect it was something to do with crime being highly newsworthy and the rehabilitation v. retribution debate.

Your experience of being autistic and the impact of trying to fit in could be describing me, as it could many women of our age here.  I was diagnosed ASD nearly two years ago, I’m on a waiting list for an ADHD assessment. Unfortunately the waiting list is on hold as services haven’t been commissioned in N. Ireland. I would probably have the inattentive type of ADHD. Years of not fitting in without knowing it wasn’t my fault, and it wasn’t because I didn’t try harder, impacted my mental health, it still does.

I don’t fall within a narrow category of how women ‘should be’. I was married at one time, but I’m not a naturally motherly person except when it comes to caring for animals, especially my beloved dogs. I’m glad that many women today can choose whether or not to marry and have babies. I have personal experience of being the offspring of a parent who didn’t want me and I wasted years seeking approval. Forcing women into certain roles they are not suited to is very damaging.

It’s easy to get confused here, especially when you’re new. I still get confused when replies to posts land some distance from the post to which I’m responding, or to the original post. There is some rationality to the order, it can be changed in settings, but it’s still confusing to work out.

Your description of your filing issues with your husband brought to mind an image of you both at a filing cabinet drawer and meeting in chaos in the middle, papers flying. I’m sure it’s not quite like that but the image amused me. I live on my own now so I no longer have that all too familiar tension over things being put in ‘irrational places’. Not that I have everything organised in my house, only some things are in the right place and I’m very good at keeping them that way, but the rest of my stuff is causing distress because I need it but can’t seem to organise things.

I see from your post to Alexa that you did Criminology as part of your degree. I did a Criminology module as part of my first degree with the OU. It was a fascinating subject in many respects, but not one that I could really get into, so it was my lowest scoring module although I got through it. The OU didn’t do archaeology, so I went to a traditional university for that and did a semi-distance part time Masters. The gap between undergraduate and masters was filled with various undergraduate bridging courses to enable me to specialise in secondary teaching, post graduate certificates, diplomas and my teaching qualification, a PGCE. I became a teacher but my career was cut short through illness. I was unable to return to teaching because it involved too much face to face time and was highly stressful. Returning to the subject of criminology, at the beginning of the course, I remember coming across the term ‘a nice comforting murder’ in relation to TV murder mysteries like ‘Midsomer Murders’  and ‘Miss Marple’. The public has a fascination for murder mysteries, comforting, disturbing, real or fictionalised. I’m afraid I can’t remember where that point lead to within real life criminological concerns, but I expect it was something to do with crime being highly newsworthy and the rehabilitation v. retribution debate.

Your experience of being autistic and the impact of trying to fit in could be describing me, as it could many women of our age here.  I was diagnosed ASD nearly two years ago, I’m on a waiting list for an ADHD assessment. Unfortunately the waiting list is on hold as services haven’t been commissioned in N. Ireland. I would probably have the inattentive type of ADHD. Years of not fitting in without knowing it wasn’t my fault, and it wasn’t because I didn’t try harder, impacted my mental health, it still does.

I don’t fall within a narrow category of how women ‘should be’. I was married at one time, but I’m not a naturally motherly person except when it comes to caring for animals, especially my beloved dogs. I’m glad that many women today can choose whether or not to marry and have babies. I have personal experience of being the offspring of a parent who didn’t want me and I wasted years seeking approval. Forcing women into certain roles they are not suited to is very damaging.