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How do you cope?

ChrisRuthPeggy
Alexa kindly suggested starting a thread on coping techniques giving loads of tips and advice.  This is what I posted:

"Anyway, what I want to ask is for information and direction in how to cope with certain situations, activities and such.  Everyday things are challenging - shopping, housework, disorganisation and 'losing' things are a nightmare.  I don't know how to 'join in' on conversations - unable to express myself and, as such often saying the 'wrong' thing; topics of no interest to me ... The thing is that others don't understand how my mind works but, equally I don't understand how other peoples minds work.  Things that make total sense to me leave others confused and things that make total sense to others leave me confused!

I'm a research addict (comes with the territory) and have found some great resources.  I was wondering whether, if it's allowed, I could post some of the things I have found useful which may help others.  Some YouTube stuff and at least one book.  I would be so grateful if anyone could give me some advice on coping."

I've added something I sent to the AuDHD team:

"Living with AuDHD is certainly not easy, but maybe even harder for those around us as they face trying to understand our quirky behaviour!
Since receiving an explanation (through diagnosis) somehow many things now make more sense.  Ooo, people with AuDHD never make any sense (hehe!!)
As I mentioned, my thirst for knowledge drives me into a research frenzy - comes with the territory!  So, I'm sending these links which, as I've found informative, may help others (skip through the ads).  It's so difficult and I would be so grateful to hear how other people manage.
Odd Things Autistic People Do That Others Don't (Top 10)
Autism and ADHD: How to Cope With a Dual Diagnosis | Siri Nelson | TEDxUAlberta
I've also found a book (well, I'll hunt for it as it must be lying around somewhere in the disorganisation of an ADHD household!) : Found it!! "Order from Chaos - the everyday grind of staying organized with Adult ADHD" by Jaclyn Paul which I've been drawing on for tips and tricks to make life easier (and less chaotic).  There's some good stuff in there and I'd highly recommend it.
I would very much benefit from some sort of on-line group (perhaps restricted Facebook or Telegram group) where we 'neurodiverse' people can share stuff - both the sad, good and things that make us giggle!"
So here I am, joining an on-line group - wow!!
Amongst the chaos this is something I turn to (as well as gardening) when the world becomes too much: Hilarious Jack Russell Goes Crazy with Excitement at Crufts 2017!
Thanks

Parents

  • Glad your diagnosis has helped you make sense of many things. I can identify with that.

    I love researching online too, but not always for things to do with autism or ADHD. I watch YouTube occasionally, but I find the advertisements are too much 'in my face' and much prefer written information as I can control the speed and content of the details.

  • in reply to ChrisRuthPeggy

    Paranoia setting in!!!  Hoping for a response - life fascinates (and scares) me.  I love gardening, I'm not great at it, but it's my place to escape, so I spend a lot of time researching plants, garden designs and the like.  I've just started (at 65!) to try and learn how to play the guitar - hmm, difficult with AuDHD, but it takes me away from things (music is a great coping and motivating thing).  Psychology, philosophy and research methodology are probably my greatest passion.  I do use the Internet a lot for ideas ("images of ...").  I also watch YouTube stuff (yeh, the adverts can be a nuisance, but some of them are interesting, particularly those that appear when I'm doing Solitaire).  I'm constantly looking for ideas.  Sometimes when I feel low I call on YouTube for something to cheer me up - animals doing funny things (although a lot of the videos are a bit naff).  I've recently started watching those Talent YouTubes, only those that show how amazing people are.

    What I'm not interested in is politics, sport and gossip!!

    The therapist I see says I need to find "like minded people" - hmm, surely there must be someone out there?!!!

    Hope you respond X

  • in reply to ArchaeC

    Ooo, getting a tad confused here!!  As a 'techno-not-know' I'm losing the plot a tad.  I am so thrilled that people are engaging with this thread and am finding it so interesting and enlightening - thank you.  But I am getting a bit lost on replies.  How strange we all are. When filing papers, hubs files the most recent things at the back, whereas I file the most recent things at the front - causes a great deal of confusion!!  So we have agreed that he files what he refers to in the order that suits him and I file what I refer to in the order that suits me, seems to sort of work until I need to find something that he's filed and I'm left totally lost!!

    Oh, here I am 'coming with the territory' and getting distracted!  There's a lot of 'stuff' (one of my most greatest words that cover 'stuff') regarding women tending to 'hide' their issues, or maybe expectations of girls is different from those of guys.  As a child Autism and ADHD didn't 'exist', instead I was 'different' and there was 'something wrong with me'.  I tried so hard to 'fit', but didn't.  I didn't understand and neither did those around me, particularly my parents.  My life was unliveable and I took a number of overdoses in an attempt to escape the pain - ouch!!

    What is expected of women (in the female sense) and men (in the masculine sense) - "bare foot and pregnant behind the kitchen sink".  I strongly believe that men and women are 'wired' differently.  Females have an innate drive to protect and care for others, coming, I guess from the drive to ensure the survival of their offspring.  Physically, males and females are different and designed to fulfil certain roles in life.  In nature it's the males that are flamboyant, fighting to impress the females.  The females can choose who they want to mate with dependent on the strongest male.  Humans, it seems, have gone in the opposite direction.  Hey, as long as the girlies have the babies, where does the power lay?!!

    XXX

Reply
  • in reply to ArchaeC

    Ooo, getting a tad confused here!!  As a 'techno-not-know' I'm losing the plot a tad.  I am so thrilled that people are engaging with this thread and am finding it so interesting and enlightening - thank you.  But I am getting a bit lost on replies.  How strange we all are. When filing papers, hubs files the most recent things at the back, whereas I file the most recent things at the front - causes a great deal of confusion!!  So we have agreed that he files what he refers to in the order that suits him and I file what I refer to in the order that suits me, seems to sort of work until I need to find something that he's filed and I'm left totally lost!!

    Oh, here I am 'coming with the territory' and getting distracted!  There's a lot of 'stuff' (one of my most greatest words that cover 'stuff') regarding women tending to 'hide' their issues, or maybe expectations of girls is different from those of guys.  As a child Autism and ADHD didn't 'exist', instead I was 'different' and there was 'something wrong with me'.  I tried so hard to 'fit', but didn't.  I didn't understand and neither did those around me, particularly my parents.  My life was unliveable and I took a number of overdoses in an attempt to escape the pain - ouch!!

    What is expected of women (in the female sense) and men (in the masculine sense) - "bare foot and pregnant behind the kitchen sink".  I strongly believe that men and women are 'wired' differently.  Females have an innate drive to protect and care for others, coming, I guess from the drive to ensure the survival of their offspring.  Physically, males and females are different and designed to fulfil certain roles in life.  In nature it's the males that are flamboyant, fighting to impress the females.  The females can choose who they want to mate with dependent on the strongest male.  Humans, it seems, have gone in the opposite direction.  Hey, as long as the girlies have the babies, where does the power lay?!!

    XXX

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