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How do you cope?

ChrisRuthPeggy
Alexa kindly suggested starting a thread on coping techniques giving loads of tips and advice.  This is what I posted:

"Anyway, what I want to ask is for information and direction in how to cope with certain situations, activities and such.  Everyday things are challenging - shopping, housework, disorganisation and 'losing' things are a nightmare.  I don't know how to 'join in' on conversations - unable to express myself and, as such often saying the 'wrong' thing; topics of no interest to me ... The thing is that others don't understand how my mind works but, equally I don't understand how other peoples minds work.  Things that make total sense to me leave others confused and things that make total sense to others leave me confused!

I'm a research addict (comes with the territory) and have found some great resources.  I was wondering whether, if it's allowed, I could post some of the things I have found useful which may help others.  Some YouTube stuff and at least one book.  I would be so grateful if anyone could give me some advice on coping."

I've added something I sent to the AuDHD team:

"Living with AuDHD is certainly not easy, but maybe even harder for those around us as they face trying to understand our quirky behaviour!
Since receiving an explanation (through diagnosis) somehow many things now make more sense.  Ooo, people with AuDHD never make any sense (hehe!!)
As I mentioned, my thirst for knowledge drives me into a research frenzy - comes with the territory!  So, I'm sending these links which, as I've found informative, may help others (skip through the ads).  It's so difficult and I would be so grateful to hear how other people manage.
Odd Things Autistic People Do That Others Don't (Top 10)
Autism and ADHD: How to Cope With a Dual Diagnosis | Siri Nelson | TEDxUAlberta
I've also found a book (well, I'll hunt for it as it must be lying around somewhere in the disorganisation of an ADHD household!) : Found it!! "Order from Chaos - the everyday grind of staying organized with Adult ADHD" by Jaclyn Paul which I've been drawing on for tips and tricks to make life easier (and less chaotic).  There's some good stuff in there and I'd highly recommend it.
I would very much benefit from some sort of on-line group (perhaps restricted Facebook or Telegram group) where we 'neurodiverse' people can share stuff - both the sad, good and things that make us giggle!"
So here I am, joining an on-line group - wow!!
Amongst the chaos this is something I turn to (as well as gardening) when the world becomes too much: Hilarious Jack Russell Goes Crazy with Excitement at Crufts 2017!
Thanks

Parents

  • Glad your diagnosis has helped you make sense of many things. I can identify with that.

    I love researching online too, but not always for things to do with autism or ADHD. I watch YouTube occasionally, but I find the advertisements are too much 'in my face' and much prefer written information as I can control the speed and content of the details.

  • in reply to ChrisRuthPeggy

    Paranoia setting in!!!  Hoping for a response - life fascinates (and scares) me.  I love gardening, I'm not great at it, but it's my place to escape, so I spend a lot of time researching plants, garden designs and the like.  I've just started (at 65!) to try and learn how to play the guitar - hmm, difficult with AuDHD, but it takes me away from things (music is a great coping and motivating thing).  Psychology, philosophy and research methodology are probably my greatest passion.  I do use the Internet a lot for ideas ("images of ...").  I also watch YouTube stuff (yeh, the adverts can be a nuisance, but some of them are interesting, particularly those that appear when I'm doing Solitaire).  I'm constantly looking for ideas.  Sometimes when I feel low I call on YouTube for something to cheer me up - animals doing funny things (although a lot of the videos are a bit naff).  I've recently started watching those Talent YouTubes, only those that show how amazing people are.

    What I'm not interested in is politics, sport and gossip!!

    The therapist I see says I need to find "like minded people" - hmm, surely there must be someone out there?!!!

    Hope you respond X

  • in reply to Alexa
    Alexa said:
    Maybe this site thinks I'm from Amazon, as this reply has been denied three times. 

    The site is running slow at my end. My post didn’t appear until I refreshed the page.

    Hmm.. male handwriting?Thinking

  • in reply to ArchaeC

    Maybe this site thinks I'm from Amazon, as this reply has been denied three times. Laughing

    ArchaeC said:
    I wonder if people still perceive us to be a certain sex based on our employment title or how we write content. I

    I think it's do with how we write. Taking that to extremes, one guy once told me he assumed I was male because of my handwriting! So strange.

  • in reply to ChrisRuthPeggy
    ChrisRuthPeggy said:
    My research knowledge is based on critiquing methodology; something I gained from studying psychology, but applies to all types of research.

    Oh, yes! I took Psych 101 and social psychology courses for my degree, which helped supplement the reading I'd done before that (Dorothy Rowe, Robin Skynner and counselling training). Whenever I look up a claim about statistics thrown around the media, I track down the source study and check out the methodology before coming to a conclusion about the reliability of the conclusions. I wanted to major in psychology but my maths was too poor for the stats.

    ChrisRuthPeggy said:
    I'm currently doing a 'course' on understanding the Bible.

    When I was a Christian, I read theology and biblical criticism (critical and literary analysis). I learnt enough Koine Greek to check out the original in the New Testament. I was hopeless at hebrew and gave that up early on. I also studied Christian history and helped run a bible study group for woemn for five or six years. Fortunately, I had three or four commentaries on enough books to share around, so everyone could take turns when we met up.They taught me a lot about childbirth and just being a 'normal' woman. I also studied Jewish history before I did all that. Mind you, I've forgotten a lot - it was all so long ago! 

    ChrisRuthPeggy said:
    I was conceived and born in Cyprus

    I was saddened by the recent history of Greek Cyprus and wove it into one of my novels. Famagusta and the sell-offs of Greek homes.Terrible. 

  • in reply to Alexa
    Alexa said:
    people used to think that of me when all they had to go was emails and I signed myself Alex.

    I can understand how that happens. I hope you don’t get mixed up with Amazon’s Alexa on this thread. I had to be careful Robot

    Sometimes I wonder if people still perceive us to be a certain sex based on our employment title or how we write content. It’s interesting because I don’t talk much about or engage much in  ‘women specific issues’, unless it’s to do with discrimination. It’s not that I haven’t had or don’t have certain issues, I just don’t have interest in discussing them as much as other things. At the same time, I identify so much with other autistic women who don’t fit the stereotypical view of womanhood. 

Reply
  • in reply to Alexa
    Alexa said:
    people used to think that of me when all they had to go was emails and I signed myself Alex.

    I can understand how that happens. I hope you don’t get mixed up with Amazon’s Alexa on this thread. I had to be careful Robot

    Sometimes I wonder if people still perceive us to be a certain sex based on our employment title or how we write content. It’s interesting because I don’t talk much about or engage much in  ‘women specific issues’, unless it’s to do with discrimination. It’s not that I haven’t had or don’t have certain issues, I just don’t have interest in discussing them as much as other things. At the same time, I identify so much with other autistic women who don’t fit the stereotypical view of womanhood. 

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