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Touching, hugging , kissing

Marjorie195

I suspect this may be repetition for many, but how can I politely avoid the hugging and kissing that goes on these days.

I cringe inwardly and sometimes outwardly when people hug and kiss me without consent. I hate it. I go rigid. I have read that some on the spectrum find this sort of thing painful. I just hate it.

I saw a pregnant lady, out, in the summer, wearing a t shirt saying hands off my bump. I would love to have a t shirt saying "hands off me". Looking back, I suspect my parents were on the spectrum, and none of us are touchy feely.

More distant relatives and my husbands family are, but now friends, aquaintances and all and sundry seem to hug and kiss. Weddings and funerals are a nightmare.

I try to put up with their behaviour, but I do cringe and have attracted remarks like "have I got bad breath or something". It makes me uncomfortable, angry and embarrassed. I need a way of telling people politely that this sort of contact is not for me. Urrgghh

Does anyone share this revulsion and if so, how do they deal with it?

Parents

  • I have done some research and find that apart from hand shake or hi five, there aern't any acceptable alternatives. So I will go for hand shake, and if it is a previous hugger/kisser, I will just have to add that I am not a very tactile person. (As someone suggested a while back)

    I decided that to just say I am not tactile may offend, so a hand shake will show that I am compromising and do wish to great (meeting/departing) and am happy to have met them. Aged aunts, I may just put up with hug.

    I have been too passive about it, I am going to have to be a bit more assertive. I have to adopt a new style of behaviour and plan what I will do, so that I am not caught unprepared. The first time will be difficult. I will have to take a deep breath and try it. But hopefully, the situation will get easier with practice and in the long run, I may be happier about it.

    Thanks to all those who have helped me think it through and given advice.

Reply

  • I have done some research and find that apart from hand shake or hi five, there aern't any acceptable alternatives. So I will go for hand shake, and if it is a previous hugger/kisser, I will just have to add that I am not a very tactile person. (As someone suggested a while back)

    I decided that to just say I am not tactile may offend, so a hand shake will show that I am compromising and do wish to great (meeting/departing) and am happy to have met them. Aged aunts, I may just put up with hug.

    I have been too passive about it, I am going to have to be a bit more assertive. I have to adopt a new style of behaviour and plan what I will do, so that I am not caught unprepared. The first time will be difficult. I will have to take a deep breath and try it. But hopefully, the situation will get easier with practice and in the long run, I may be happier about it.

    Thanks to all those who have helped me think it through and given advice.

Children
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