• Replies 21 replies
  • Subscribers 78 subscribers
  • Views 15203 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

Touching, hugging , kissing

Marjorie195

I suspect this may be repetition for many, but how can I politely avoid the hugging and kissing that goes on these days.

I cringe inwardly and sometimes outwardly when people hug and kiss me without consent. I hate it. I go rigid. I have read that some on the spectrum find this sort of thing painful. I just hate it.

I saw a pregnant lady, out, in the summer, wearing a t shirt saying hands off my bump. I would love to have a t shirt saying "hands off me". Looking back, I suspect my parents were on the spectrum, and none of us are touchy feely.

More distant relatives and my husbands family are, but now friends, aquaintances and all and sundry seem to hug and kiss. Weddings and funerals are a nightmare.

I try to put up with their behaviour, but I do cringe and have attracted remarks like "have I got bad breath or something". It makes me uncomfortable, angry and embarrassed. I need a way of telling people politely that this sort of contact is not for me. Urrgghh

Does anyone share this revulsion and if so, how do they deal with it?

Parents
  • Former Member
    Former Member

    Marjorie195 said:

    This debate has moved me from thinking URRRGHHH, to actually analysing the problem with a view to dealing with it. I may not have fully resolved the issue yet, but there is hope now that I will.

    That sounds like a big step forward. As I understand it, the process on this thread followed CBT steps of making you think and challenging your old assumptions and getting to the point where you can see that you can deal with the world in potentially different and less extreme ways. This can potentially mean less conflict with the world and a bit more contentment and less extreme reactions to things. I couldn't have predicted the twists and turns but I was aware that I was challenging some of your thinking. :-)

Reply
  • Former Member
    Former Member

    Marjorie195 said:

    This debate has moved me from thinking URRRGHHH, to actually analysing the problem with a view to dealing with it. I may not have fully resolved the issue yet, but there is hope now that I will.

    That sounds like a big step forward. As I understand it, the process on this thread followed CBT steps of making you think and challenging your old assumptions and getting to the point where you can see that you can deal with the world in potentially different and less extreme ways. This can potentially mean less conflict with the world and a bit more contentment and less extreme reactions to things. I couldn't have predicted the twists and turns but I was aware that I was challenging some of your thinking. :-)

Children
No Data