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Touching, hugging , kissing

Marjorie195

I suspect this may be repetition for many, but how can I politely avoid the hugging and kissing that goes on these days.

I cringe inwardly and sometimes outwardly when people hug and kiss me without consent. I hate it. I go rigid. I have read that some on the spectrum find this sort of thing painful. I just hate it.

I saw a pregnant lady, out, in the summer, wearing a t shirt saying hands off my bump. I would love to have a t shirt saying "hands off me". Looking back, I suspect my parents were on the spectrum, and none of us are touchy feely.

More distant relatives and my husbands family are, but now friends, aquaintances and all and sundry seem to hug and kiss. Weddings and funerals are a nightmare.

I try to put up with their behaviour, but I do cringe and have attracted remarks like "have I got bad breath or something". It makes me uncomfortable, angry and embarrassed. I need a way of telling people politely that this sort of contact is not for me. Urrgghh

Does anyone share this revulsion and if so, how do they deal with it?

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  • Former Member
    Former Member

    Marjorie195 said:
    If rape scores 10, then assault is 7 and unwanted physical contact 2 or 3.

    So, would a handshake score a 1 - it is touching but tolerable? Isn't it pragmatic to tolerate something that is closer to a handshake than it is to rape? This makes more sense to me than classifying it with the extreme and criminal assaults at the other end of this scale.

    Wouldn't you then be exhibiting an old fashioned, grin and bear it, stiff upper lip attitude in response to the unwanted intrusion into your personal space.

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  • Former Member
    Former Member

    Marjorie195 said:
    If rape scores 10, then assault is 7 and unwanted physical contact 2 or 3.

    So, would a handshake score a 1 - it is touching but tolerable? Isn't it pragmatic to tolerate something that is closer to a handshake than it is to rape? This makes more sense to me than classifying it with the extreme and criminal assaults at the other end of this scale.

    Wouldn't you then be exhibiting an old fashioned, grin and bear it, stiff upper lip attitude in response to the unwanted intrusion into your personal space.

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