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Touching, hugging , kissing

Marjorie195

I suspect this may be repetition for many, but how can I politely avoid the hugging and kissing that goes on these days.

I cringe inwardly and sometimes outwardly when people hug and kiss me without consent. I hate it. I go rigid. I have read that some on the spectrum find this sort of thing painful. I just hate it.

I saw a pregnant lady, out, in the summer, wearing a t shirt saying hands off my bump. I would love to have a t shirt saying "hands off me". Looking back, I suspect my parents were on the spectrum, and none of us are touchy feely.

More distant relatives and my husbands family are, but now friends, aquaintances and all and sundry seem to hug and kiss. Weddings and funerals are a nightmare.

I try to put up with their behaviour, but I do cringe and have attracted remarks like "have I got bad breath or something". It makes me uncomfortable, angry and embarrassed. I need a way of telling people politely that this sort of contact is not for me. Urrgghh

Does anyone share this revulsion and if so, how do they deal with it?

Parents
  • Former Member
    Former Member

    Given the context of this forum there is no way I would report this as offensive. You are quite clear that rape is a heinous offence.

    I think, however, that you fallen into a trap of dichotomous thinking and unwarranted extrapolation from one clear position to another situation where your conclusion is out of proportion or 'unreasonable' in our society. I think a lot of people (NT and ASD) would baulk at the jump that you have made from the unambiguously, criminally wrong situation involving contact, without consent, to another situation. It is not simply unconsented physical contact in the case of rape. It is unconsented sexual violation that is an extreme example of unconsented physical contact. At the other end of the scale of unconsented physical contact is the accidental bumping of shoulders on a train or bus. Should that be treated as assault? That is what your logic suggests to me.

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  • Former Member
    Former Member

    Given the context of this forum there is no way I would report this as offensive. You are quite clear that rape is a heinous offence.

    I think, however, that you fallen into a trap of dichotomous thinking and unwarranted extrapolation from one clear position to another situation where your conclusion is out of proportion or 'unreasonable' in our society. I think a lot of people (NT and ASD) would baulk at the jump that you have made from the unambiguously, criminally wrong situation involving contact, without consent, to another situation. It is not simply unconsented physical contact in the case of rape. It is unconsented sexual violation that is an extreme example of unconsented physical contact. At the other end of the scale of unconsented physical contact is the accidental bumping of shoulders on a train or bus. Should that be treated as assault? That is what your logic suggests to me.

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