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Touching, hugging , kissing

Marjorie195

I suspect this may be repetition for many, but how can I politely avoid the hugging and kissing that goes on these days.

I cringe inwardly and sometimes outwardly when people hug and kiss me without consent. I hate it. I go rigid. I have read that some on the spectrum find this sort of thing painful. I just hate it.

I saw a pregnant lady, out, in the summer, wearing a t shirt saying hands off my bump. I would love to have a t shirt saying "hands off me". Looking back, I suspect my parents were on the spectrum, and none of us are touchy feely.

More distant relatives and my husbands family are, but now friends, aquaintances and all and sundry seem to hug and kiss. Weddings and funerals are a nightmare.

I try to put up with their behaviour, but I do cringe and have attracted remarks like "have I got bad breath or something". It makes me uncomfortable, angry and embarrassed. I need a way of telling people politely that this sort of contact is not for me. Urrgghh

Does anyone share this revulsion and if so, how do they deal with it?

Parents

  • Im not sure politeness is required or appropriate here. It is those of us on the spectrum that are supposed to have social perception impairment...the NT should be able to tell that such contact is unwanted...I see it all the time in public, party a approaches arms opened to hug, notices that party b does not want to hug so changes the gesture to another greeting, often a slap on the upperarm...this showing that the NT is aware that hugging is not always desired and is capable of discerning when this is the case.

    Whereas they continue to attempt to hug you despite noting your discomfort, this is assault (probably aggravated possibly borderline indecent)...and you would be within your rights under law to defend your person.

    I am not a lawyer...the above is my opinion not legal advice

    But if you are uncomfortable with pushing/striking/throwing, you might try proactively offering a handshake as they approach...proper response to this oveture seeming to be non-optional and deeply conditioned into the NT... 

    Further, notice how aggressive/abusive the NT becomes when someone with LFA makes a grab at them...often threatening legal action...or battery

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  • Im not sure politeness is required or appropriate here. It is those of us on the spectrum that are supposed to have social perception impairment...the NT should be able to tell that such contact is unwanted...I see it all the time in public, party a approaches arms opened to hug, notices that party b does not want to hug so changes the gesture to another greeting, often a slap on the upperarm...this showing that the NT is aware that hugging is not always desired and is capable of discerning when this is the case.

    Whereas they continue to attempt to hug you despite noting your discomfort, this is assault (probably aggravated possibly borderline indecent)...and you would be within your rights under law to defend your person.

    I am not a lawyer...the above is my opinion not legal advice

    But if you are uncomfortable with pushing/striking/throwing, you might try proactively offering a handshake as they approach...proper response to this oveture seeming to be non-optional and deeply conditioned into the NT... 

    Further, notice how aggressive/abusive the NT becomes when someone with LFA makes a grab at them...often threatening legal action...or battery

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