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Family Party

Roy

I’m becoming very stressed over an upcoming family party, it’s next month and it’s my mothers 80th birthday. 
It’s being held in her house and a lot of people have been invited, I know it will become very noisy and involve a lot of alcohol. 
Im expected to be there, it’s known I will struggle and shutdown but I will still be expected to sit there and pretend to be enjoying it. I know the “cheer up or can’t you just try?” Comments will start, it’s making more anxious as the day draws closer. It’s actually making me feel ill.

I live there when I’m working, so there is no escape. I don’t want special treatment, I just need to be left alone. Messages are pinging back and forth about what party drinking games they could do, I’ve been alcohol free for two and a half years, I don’t want to go back to the old me. If I was to mention autism to any of them, I know it would just lead to stupid comments. Sorry just venting but I know you are the only people who would understand.

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  • Update, I don’t know if anyone is really interested but I’ve decided to go home to Cornwall over the party period. The build up to it has proved too much and led to me having a very rare meltdown. The stress is the reason I haven’t been very active here for a while.

    My wife is now fully onboard with us not attending, she and myself are worried about my mental state, she is going to take over and inform my family and try to explain why I struggle with things like functions.

    To be honest the whole party thing is accelerating daily, it’s all I hear.  It’s all led to me having some very dark thoughts, this mustn’t continue.

  • in reply to Roy
    Roy said:
    It’s all led to me having some very dark thoughts, this mustn’t continue.

    No it mustn't.

    Look after yourself Roy.

    I'm glad you don't have to suffer the party and that your wife is supportive.

    When my mother eventually went into hospital with a fall, and my sister was abusive to me on the phone, I changed my phone number and never saw my mother again and refused to engage with any services with regard to my mother's future.

    I had spent years as my mother's carer with no support and with constant verbal abuse from her.

    It was honestly a great relief to me when she passed away.

    I only ended up speaking to my sister again when she wrote me a letter apologising and there was a crisis with her son.

    Sometimes our families are the worst people we know.

    Bouquet

  • in reply to B

    I can relate - I don't speak to my mum, nor one of my brothers. Essentially, they're not my type of people and I'd had enough of it.

    I always find that people struggle with that situation, as it's regularly said to me that 'it's your mum' or 'why are you so bothered by that' ... But they're not me, and I am bothered 

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  • in reply to B

    I can relate - I don't speak to my mum, nor one of my brothers. Essentially, they're not my type of people and I'd had enough of it.

    I always find that people struggle with that situation, as it's regularly said to me that 'it's your mum' or 'why are you so bothered by that' ... But they're not me, and I am bothered 

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