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Family Party

Roy

I’m becoming very stressed over an upcoming family party, it’s next month and it’s my mothers 80th birthday. 
It’s being held in her house and a lot of people have been invited, I know it will become very noisy and involve a lot of alcohol. 
Im expected to be there, it’s known I will struggle and shutdown but I will still be expected to sit there and pretend to be enjoying it. I know the “cheer up or can’t you just try?” Comments will start, it’s making more anxious as the day draws closer. It’s actually making me feel ill.

I live there when I’m working, so there is no escape. I don’t want special treatment, I just need to be left alone. Messages are pinging back and forth about what party drinking games they could do, I’ve been alcohol free for two and a half years, I don’t want to go back to the old me. If I was to mention autism to any of them, I know it would just lead to stupid comments. Sorry just venting but I know you are the only people who would understand.

Parents

  • Hello Roy.

    As a fellow booze free fellow, I know how hard it was for me to kick it in the first place.  It would be a shame to be drawn back into it if you don't want or need it, but that is your choice and not anyone else's.  Being busy, as was suggested, would be a good idea; play to your strengths, and you have the perfect reason to keep a low profile by doing so.  Someone has to keep the dishes washed, plates topped up, and generally keep supplies flowing; why shouldn't it be you?  I'm sure your mother would be happy to be able to enjoy her celebration whilst you beaver away in the background.  Grinning

    I know that it's socially expected for these milestone events, and that's hard to deal with.  So, being busy or finding a watertight reason for not being there are your only choices, I fear.  So, make peace with it (if you can) and prepare for it beforehand so that you have coping tools ready planned to reach for as needed.

    Good luck, and do come back here and tell us how it went and what you did to navigate through it.

Reply

  • Hello Roy.

    As a fellow booze free fellow, I know how hard it was for me to kick it in the first place.  It would be a shame to be drawn back into it if you don't want or need it, but that is your choice and not anyone else's.  Being busy, as was suggested, would be a good idea; play to your strengths, and you have the perfect reason to keep a low profile by doing so.  Someone has to keep the dishes washed, plates topped up, and generally keep supplies flowing; why shouldn't it be you?  I'm sure your mother would be happy to be able to enjoy her celebration whilst you beaver away in the background.  Grinning

    I know that it's socially expected for these milestone events, and that's hard to deal with.  So, being busy or finding a watertight reason for not being there are your only choices, I fear.  So, make peace with it (if you can) and prepare for it beforehand so that you have coping tools ready planned to reach for as needed.

    Good luck, and do come back here and tell us how it went and what you did to navigate through it.

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