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Struggling with loneliness

Cutesue96

Hi all name suzanne, im 29 newly diagnosed with autism, I have adhd.

Im struggling badly, I've been single 6 years, I've tried so hard to find my person, to create friend ships, my ex was my world, I move from England to Scotland with be with him at only 19, we broke up jan 2020, he moved on really quickly had a baby, now has another. Got promomated. He didn't treated me to well I think he was sorry for how he treated me, but I listened to my parents and got police involved.i messed up I see that now, maybe he wasn't my person. But im struggling with that, as why am I still lonely, im a good person, but I have no friends, not proper ones and the one I do now lives in America, so I can't see her because of this trump stuff, she was very political and it's kinda bit her in the bum, so she's extra aware of letting anyone visit incase ice get involved because of her protest campaign from a few years back.

I've tried to make friends,join groups, do volunteering in the area i studied(set design) moved out. But nothings working and im getting to the end of my tether, im tried for nearly 6 years to get my life together but I just keep.ending up alone in my house gaming or watching tv.

Has anyone been where I am and can give me a bit hope as I don't know if I can do this 

Parents

  • Life isn't fair; it took me a very long time to work that out and accept it.  Doing so does not make it better magically, but it does make dealing with the crap that comes along easier, I've found.

    I'm forty years older than you and have been married twice.  Like you, I am recently diagnosed and am now working out some of my own history and how autism has affected relationships over the years.  Finding a significant other is not easy for anyone, more so for us autistics.  But when someone comes along who is 'right' then it's entirely special.  So, hang in there and don't let the anxiety get the better of you. As a friend of mine says, 'anxiety is a liar' so put that in your head and let that ruminate, because I can assure you it's true.

    Try not to put yourself under pressure to achieve.  Relationships happen at the most unexpected moments, so try to just go with whatever life is putting in front of you, one day that will be someone special.  For all the other times, just try to enjoy the moment you are in, as much as you can.

    Another thing.  We are all much tougher than we credit ourselves.  Remember that always.

    Finally, being here (in this group) is a big plus.  There are a lot of people who understand and can offer something to help.  So, stick around and contribute; that will kick-start new 'virtual' friendships, and who knows where that might lead.

Reply

  • Life isn't fair; it took me a very long time to work that out and accept it.  Doing so does not make it better magically, but it does make dealing with the crap that comes along easier, I've found.

    I'm forty years older than you and have been married twice.  Like you, I am recently diagnosed and am now working out some of my own history and how autism has affected relationships over the years.  Finding a significant other is not easy for anyone, more so for us autistics.  But when someone comes along who is 'right' then it's entirely special.  So, hang in there and don't let the anxiety get the better of you. As a friend of mine says, 'anxiety is a liar' so put that in your head and let that ruminate, because I can assure you it's true.

    Try not to put yourself under pressure to achieve.  Relationships happen at the most unexpected moments, so try to just go with whatever life is putting in front of you, one day that will be someone special.  For all the other times, just try to enjoy the moment you are in, as much as you can.

    Another thing.  We are all much tougher than we credit ourselves.  Remember that always.

    Finally, being here (in this group) is a big plus.  There are a lot of people who understand and can offer something to help.  So, stick around and contribute; that will kick-start new 'virtual' friendships, and who knows where that might lead.

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