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Struggling with loneliness

Cutesue96

Hi all name suzanne, im 29 newly diagnosed with autism, I have adhd.

Im struggling badly, I've been single 6 years, I've tried so hard to find my person, to create friend ships, my ex was my world, I move from England to Scotland with be with him at only 19, we broke up jan 2020, he moved on really quickly had a baby, now has another. Got promomated. He didn't treated me to well I think he was sorry for how he treated me, but I listened to my parents and got police involved.i messed up I see that now, maybe he wasn't my person. But im struggling with that, as why am I still lonely, im a good person, but I have no friends, not proper ones and the one I do now lives in America, so I can't see her because of this trump stuff, she was very political and it's kinda bit her in the bum, so she's extra aware of letting anyone visit incase ice get involved because of her protest campaign from a few years back.

I've tried to make friends,join groups, do volunteering in the area i studied(set design) moved out. But nothings working and im getting to the end of my tether, im tried for nearly 6 years to get my life together but I just keep.ending up alone in my house gaming or watching tv.

Has anyone been where I am and can give me a bit hope as I don't know if I can do this 

Parents

  • Hey Suzanne, welcome (though I know this isn't your first post!)

    It's so tough not having friends, but so, so common with autistic folk, so we really hear you there. I think it hurts all the more if you are trying and nothing seems to work too, and can leave you feeling very isolated. 

    Having a place like here where you can reach out and say how you're feeling about it all can help. Finding real life friends seems an impossible task, I'm not so good at it myself as I get so nervous. Well done for at least trying groups, that is a real start. If you want to try more, but feeling like it's hard, you could even tell us how it's going by posting on here. Just to feel like you have people to talk to about it. 

    Hopefully, others might have some better suggestions, just wanted to reply so you knew other people know how you feel!

    Best wishes.

Reply

  • Hey Suzanne, welcome (though I know this isn't your first post!)

    It's so tough not having friends, but so, so common with autistic folk, so we really hear you there. I think it hurts all the more if you are trying and nothing seems to work too, and can leave you feeling very isolated. 

    Having a place like here where you can reach out and say how you're feeling about it all can help. Finding real life friends seems an impossible task, I'm not so good at it myself as I get so nervous. Well done for at least trying groups, that is a real start. If you want to try more, but feeling like it's hard, you could even tell us how it's going by posting on here. Just to feel like you have people to talk to about it. 

    Hopefully, others might have some better suggestions, just wanted to reply so you knew other people know how you feel!

    Best wishes.

Children
  • in reply to Cinnabar_wing

    It's difficult, I got kicked out due to my bluntness, the group was great but the leader wouldn't give us a heads up on upcoming events,where they'd be ecf, they'd be uploaded to cliqu and tickets would go in 10 minutes, trying to figure which I'd like and how I'd get their In that time was difficult.

    Apparently I also made it out I could do better, which I dont think I did, but I apologised, begged for a second chance. Said I'd leave for a week and then come back, she let me and said let's draw a line under it, then this event happen that I wasn't their for and next day she kicked me off.I was devastated 

    During this time I was volunteering at a local theatre but they where lapse, and I had a freelance job where they wanted 150 for a 6 foot disco cactus and a shooting ring for a line dancing event all with in like a month. They decided to not go along with it, but I think me asking for 200 was what made the decision. I also stupidly admitted I was struggling mentally and really need to know if this where going a head so I can plan it.

    then I made friends with a neighbour,was going great then went to poop because I was too full on my fault, then I find out the above and I just spiraled.

    I've told my mum.the only reason I stay alive is for her that when she passes, I'll probably find a way to join her. I dont see hope, I've tried so hard or these past 6 years to create a life I'm happy with, honestly if I one good local friend to do stuff with that didn't judge me, and maybe a nice boyfriend, id be happy, I don't want money or a massive career, big house, non of it I just want to have somone that comes home to me, emotionally, and have a friend go shopping with ect.

    But every time I try I'm happy for maybe 2 months max then it crumbles. 

    I just don't know how much more I can take, I wish I could go to sleep and never wake up, im getting more and more down, and hopeless and I know we shouldn't talk about it but  it's how I've been feeling,