Struggling badly

Hi Alistair

Sorry to hear of your situation. See below some things that may help

Work - Dawns comments are really good , so im just tagging on that back of that post to say its definitely worth setting some time aside to figure out are there any elements of my job that are leading to this? and can i do anything to help mitigate.  Work work do you do?  if its an office job i have a bunch of things i can share that have helped me

Household chores - I hear you! haha . One thing that i do now and this applies to any task really. Is to break that task down into more manageable smaller tasks.  Lets say you have to do clothes washing, dishes, hover house etc - just say to yourself i'm going to do just the hoovering.  If one of those tasks still feels tough, break that down to i'm going to hoover half the house etc.  Sounds ridiculous i know but this is something i do and has really helped me.  What you should also do is try not to worry/beat yourself up if tasks don't get done.  Be kind to yourself / don't sweat the small stuff. If the dishes don't get done who cares haha. 

Social / Outside work stuff - Again i would say be kind to yourself/ be ok with sometimes doing nothing all weekend.  Us neuros need our rest! I myself doing less things than my normative friends but im absolutely fine with that and i focus more on getting the most out of the times i do actually do something at the weekend.  Might help having some structure or deadlines around it? ie set yourself a goal of im going to do 1 thing this month and just book it in.  You might be surprised at the energy you have when that thing comes around!

The priority would definitely be the understanding what's the biggest driver of this and then starting there. And again dont stress about solving it all immediately.  One small improvement improvement is still an improvement! 

When I first got my report I never read it properly. I just glanced over some scores and read a few lines and then closed it and got on with my life knowing those things I looked at. I returned to it later and saw more detail and scores and got concerned, that I am meant to need living support when I had none then as I had some moderate level support needs. I stopped reading anything I would find challenging about the condition that much as it affected me psychologically and then I came to rationalise that I am the same person as I always was and the report doesn’t mean I cannot manage alone.

I live alone and do my own housework in a one bedroom flat once a week. I sometimes never could move my body to do, my senses. I try now although I can feel like that to proceed with it and things start getting done.

I would suggest if you haven’t looked into with the food if you can get like perhaps ready meals.

Make sure you have adoptions at work if you haven’t got any if they will make your life more easier by getting some.

Yeah spent my working life like this in the main.  Loved what I did but couldn't bend my head around why it was that other people seemed to do the same job AND have a life; a long list of places they'd been, meals with family, hobbies they'd had time for AND have done all the shopping, housework AND look fresh as daisies on Monday morning.  Weekends when my lad was with his Dad, I'd frequently get through the door Friday night and fall onto the bed fully dressed to wake up 10:00am on Saturday still totally drained.

Then I discovered I am Autistic. Hmmmm.... 

This kind of exhaustion can and does lead to burn out.  

Does your employer know you are Autistic?  Are there things that could taken some of exhaustion out of your working life or your travel there.  You don't tell us what you do, so what that could look like might take some thinking about.  

In later years, I've realised how much travel on public transport for four hours a day in a crowded sensory nightmare was draining me more than anything else.  The COVID both gave me back four literal hours and spared me half of the exhaustion.  The other things was the awareness of how much the social aspects of the working environment and keeping up with the information input in meetings was taking out of me.  That improved with the move online also.

Of course if you aren't in an office job or do something where face to face is necessary, that might be harder, but there still might be things that can be done.  If it's possible, it sounds like a chat with the boss or the OH department would be ideal.

Hi its me again, why don't you search past post about other people's struggles, it might help to see, you're not the only one feeling like this and they'll be suggestions, I sadly don't work,so I don't feel confident to give you advice. Tho I'd love to, I think getting advice from those that have had similar will help 

Hello  Alastair 

I hear you, adapting to a new understanding of ourselves can be quite difficult - the life that we are currently living might have fundamental differences that struggle to work alongside this.

I can guarantee you one thing - you are certainly going somewhere in life, reaching out for support identifies that you have an incredible amount of value not just to the world, but to yourself.

While I am sure that our community has your back, I would like to, in the meantime, direct you to several NAS approved resources:

Mental health helplines, text and online chat | Mind - A list of resources relating to helplines and online messaging service

Eating - A guide to managing food.

Mental health - several guides relating to mental heath.

You are very much valued  Alastair  - you deserve all of the support you can get, to live a life that you feel truly comfortable with.

Take care of yourself - Zac Mod.