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It seems we're niether fish nor fowl?

TheCatWoman

I'm starting to really wonder if some of the problems "the system" has with dealing with us is that they don't know what box to pigeon hole us in. Autism and ADHD, are not mental health issues, although people often have mental health issues too, we're not totally in the educational special needs bracket either, although again we might struggle educationally.

Whilst words like "developmental disorder" are used its such a broad catagory I wonder if it's actually helpful at all? I

I'm coming more and more to the conclusion that using words like "disorder" are wrong and unhelpful. How are we disordered and disordered according to who? I don't see myself as broken and I'm certainly not dysregulated, one of my least favourite words to describe us when we're cross or upset, it delegitimises perfectly normal feelings. Alongside terms like PDA, when we really don't want to do something, do I have PDA because I really don't like the taste and mouthfeel of something, or something else really freaks me out? I don't think so, I think it's a term used to stigmatise normal feelings that no one would bat an eyelid at in a non diagnosed or allistic person.

Obviously being a spectrum theres a wide range of symptoms and not everybody has all of them and but some seem to be far more badly affected than others. But, but??? Why the need to make us sound mad, bad and dangerous to know? It's reminding me strongly of when it was realised that about 10% of the population wasn't hetrosexual and moral panic ensued, were people especially young people being lured away from the straight and narrow by being shown these different lifestyles? Was it catching like small pox or flu, how many of us would be "infected". I see these same sort of panics being caused by the increasing number of people being diagnosed with ND and the self appointed great and good faning the flames and wondering what went wrong? Well actually nothing is wrong, people have always been ND, we just didn't know or we managed it differently, just like we still had an ozone layer before refrigeration chemicals started destroying it and gravity before Newton.

I think society as a whole is starting to realise that there are many more ways of being human than previously realised, it dosen't manifest in skin colour, facial features or other visable signs, but WE LOOK LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, people might not know who they're sitting next to on the bus! It makes it so much harder to stigmatise people and avoid them and keep to our little enclaves of normality, I mean they might suddenly start gurning and dribbling, oh no, like that person over there, oh no, actually its alright they accidently bit a wasp that landed on their sandwich.

Here endeth todays lesson

Disgruntled of Anglesey

Parents
  • TheCatWoman said:
    I see these same sort of panics being caused by the increasing number of people being diagnosed with ND

    I think the main symptom of the NT disorder is a dysfunctional need for everyone to be the same as themselves. They are poor are dealing with changes from the way they believe people should act or look and often experience high support needs in terms of being assured they are right, sometimes many times a day. 

    Of course, some NTs manage life with less support and can even approach ND levels of social acceptance.

    (Sorry, your post triggered my black humour, TheCatWoman) 

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  • TheCatWoman said:
    I see these same sort of panics being caused by the increasing number of people being diagnosed with ND

    I think the main symptom of the NT disorder is a dysfunctional need for everyone to be the same as themselves. They are poor are dealing with changes from the way they believe people should act or look and often experience high support needs in terms of being assured they are right, sometimes many times a day. 

    Of course, some NTs manage life with less support and can even approach ND levels of social acceptance.

    (Sorry, your post triggered my black humour, TheCatWoman) 

Children
  • in reply to Alexa

    You're alright Alexa, this is the sort of response I was hoping for, among others, I agree that NT's do need a lot of reassurance that they're normal, they're easily frightened, imagine what it must be like to live like that and have all that fear of being different! NT men need to have their male privilidge and sexual prowess acknowleged several times a day, whilst NT women seem to accept this as normal and are willing to put themselves down in order to please the NT male. NT females seem to have a desperate need to compete with other females over social adornments and wanting to be the same size, shape and colours as each other, but with an individual twist, such as a single adornment like a piece of jewelry. Social adornments like jewelry are really important to the NT female and they will flock together making pleased squealing noises over the one who has gained the approval of a male and he has bought her a diamond to place on the third finger of her let hand in what appears to be the promise of an ownership ritual at a later date. This ritual demands the female to deny herself adaquate food for many months so as she can fit into "the dress", this is an expensive piece of clothing that will never be worn again as it's impracticle for anything but standing around in, she will be attended by a small flock of equally excited and impractically dressed females. The males will hire clothing that was fashionable in a bygone era, and consume lots of alchol and even go on a short holiday to do so, many will be ritually humiliated too.

    They will then go to a special place to complete the ownership ritual where they exchange terms of ownership, these are called vows, they then sign a book and get a reciept for each other. The female then frequently changes her last name to his, to show that she now belongs to him, it's often not obvious how he belongs to her however even after the exchange of more jewelry as part of the ownership ritual as the males aren't required to wear metal signs of ownership.

    Apart from black humour, I was hoping to start a discussion on the words used about us, how we're diagnosed and disempowered or empowered and our feelings used against us?