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What advice would you give to your younger self?

B

I will start with being less of a people pleaser and less compliant.

That would probably have changed the course of my life.

How about you?

Parents

  • Ultimately, I would want to convince my younger self to become agnostic atheist, rather than Protestant.

    I was deeply afraid of being called gay, so on top of already being a bit girl-crazy I was desperate to constantly have a girlfriend to prove my heterosexuality. That was wrong on so many levels (I was literally homophobic and didn’t realize it). I also would have benefitted from being told that Hell isn’t real. I was so deeply afraid of being punished eternally for even the slightest sin, so here I was completely girl-crazy and girlfriend-focused but afraid of sex. I think that caused way more internal turmoil than what it was worth. Once I knew how to have safe and consensual sex, why frustrate myself so much over that?

    One thing I’m not sure I’d want to tell my past self is that deep down I am polyamorous. I like the idea of doing that and seeing how fulfilling that could be to just be myself without worrying so much about traditional Christian values of monogamy, but then again… Maybe I’d end up stabbed and left in a ditch somewhere, too. Idk about that, maybe it’s best I learned that when I did lol.

  • in reply to profdanger

    Sex and sexuality caused me quite a lot of anguish in my younger days too, albeit for different reasons.

    I would like the wisdom of my 64 year old self with the body and health of my 24 year old self.

  • in reply to B

    Me too, B.

    I think, I'd tell myself no to believe what others say so readily. I don't think its the same as people pleasing, but more about being insecure and knowing you're not quite the same as others, wanting to be "normal" and not knowing how. I think I'd be much more sceptical about what partners or potential partners said.

    But most of all I'd like to tell myself that it all works out OK

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  • in reply to B

    Me too, B.

    I think, I'd tell myself no to believe what others say so readily. I don't think its the same as people pleasing, but more about being insecure and knowing you're not quite the same as others, wanting to be "normal" and not knowing how. I think I'd be much more sceptical about what partners or potential partners said.

    But most of all I'd like to tell myself that it all works out OK

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