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Autistic self care

B

I've thought about this for a while but having done a search, I see that the subject is even more complex than I first thought:

Here is a link on the subject to Autism Central, an NHS site:

https://www.autismcentral.nhs.uk/guidance/personal-care

There is some useful information here too (a PDF document):

https://ausm.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/07/Self-Care-Toolkit-for-Autistic-People.pdf

I think I've neglected most of the areas mentioned but one thing that particularly strikes me as a woman is not paying for services eg. some people pay to have hair removed, nails painted, go to beauticians, saunas etc.

I have never done this and it's as much as I can do quite often to cut my nails.

One of the reasons for me has been exhaustion from being overwhelmed by life.

I think there must be lots of reasons behind this but they all come down to the same thing: self neglect.

Do you feel that you neglect yourself or do you feel that your self care is good - physical, mental, spiritual etc etc?

Parents

  • I get impatient with the need for self-care. I know it's not a waste of time but I find it intensely boring. When i do have to pay for services, such as a haircut, I have to put up with the sensory intrusion of a salon, plus the social chatter of a hairdresser. I know that level of social interaction is one of the things that makes a hairdresser successful in their trade, but it's exhausting when one isn't NT. 

    One of the problems for me is lifting the mental worry of organising the house and garden. I hired a cleaning company for the house in order to minimise that relationship chat stuff (just like hairdressers!) but the company have dumped me recently because I go away so frequently to spend time with my closest friend. I guess they just want weekly contracts that don't get interrupted and I do understand their scheduling problems, but it's just another self-care problem, back in my lap. 

Reply

  • I get impatient with the need for self-care. I know it's not a waste of time but I find it intensely boring. When i do have to pay for services, such as a haircut, I have to put up with the sensory intrusion of a salon, plus the social chatter of a hairdresser. I know that level of social interaction is one of the things that makes a hairdresser successful in their trade, but it's exhausting when one isn't NT. 

    One of the problems for me is lifting the mental worry of organising the house and garden. I hired a cleaning company for the house in order to minimise that relationship chat stuff (just like hairdressers!) but the company have dumped me recently because I go away so frequently to spend time with my closest friend. I guess they just want weekly contracts that don't get interrupted and I do understand their scheduling problems, but it's just another self-care problem, back in my lap. 

Children
  • in reply to Alexa
    Alexa said:
    I have to put up with the sensory intrusion of a salon, plus the social chatter of a hairdresser.

    I'm very lucky in that I told my hairdresser of my problems with chit chat, so she chats and doesn't expect me to reply. Thus, she benefits from my listening, and I find her talk of holidays interesting, as I don't travel and this way I learn a lot. 

    Alexa said:
    lifting the mental worry of organising the house and garden.

    Again, because I don't go out often, I've learned to love DIY and gardening. For me, this is creative, fun, exercise and learning rolled in one. My landlord is very happy as I keep the property in good condition, as well as being the one who reports rubbish or problems, so they can deal with these things.

    My best tips for chores are:

    1. write a list every day [I do mine the night before]-  one large or complex chore, two if you can manage plus a few small ones

    2. when you complete a chore, tick it off the list. Looking back, you'll be surprised how much has been achieved

    3. In the list, add tasks/hobbies you want to do, and what you are going to eat. If I get maudlin and can't think what I want to do [or eat], I riffle back through my Day Book for ideas.

  • in reply to Alexa

    I'm an unusual autistic person as I love having my hair done, I love the salon environment, I think for me being around others is easier when I'm behind the desk as it were, I'm far more comfortable when I have a role. Some of the things clients tell you though, M15 should put people in salons! Then of course there are the grisely opperations and illnesses people tell you about, not just their own but those of friends, neighbours and family. Thats why so many hairdressers talk about holidays, we want something we can yes and no to in the right places, thats fairly light and uplifting. Every now and again you get some really interesting clients.

    When I was at college doing my hairdressing training, there was a beauty and holistic dept downstairs and we could get cut price treatments, I'd often have a massage with aromatherapy oils which was bliss. I was a guinea pig for a couple of people who needed someone for their assessments, so I've had some electrolysis, not massively successful, a facial that became a lesson in how to deal with clients having an allergic reation to the products.

    On the whole I'm happy being touched and touching, I love giving massage as well as recieving them, I can't do massage anymore as my fingers are hypermobile.

  • in reply to Alexa
    Alexa said:
    I have to put up with the sensory intrusion of a salon, plus the social chatter of a hairdresser. I know that level of social interaction is one of the things that makes a hairdresser successful in their trade, but it's exhausting when one isn't NT. 

    Lol this is exactly why my hair is so long right now. I have the time. I have the money. I just don’t have the spoons to survive having someone touching my hair and making small talk lol.