This is partly research as I've spoken on another thread about the fact that I don't remember anyone on this forum over the years saying that they had a happy childhood.
Rather a lot of us seem to in particular had very unhappy home lives.
I wonder if that is significant?
I thought I had a great upbringing even though I struggled at school and with friends. It wasn't until I started therapy that I realised yes my mum and dad provided for me physically but not so much emotionally, in fact I came to realise my mum has strong narcissistic tendencies and my dad is emotionally absent. I started to discuss things with my brother and he said there wasn't any love in the house. We both sort of didn't know the basics about hygiene either, he had the unbearable experience of being told by a girl at comprehensive school that he smelled, he also remembers his hair being thick with grease and his teeth being yellow with plague. I was a bit luckier my mum told mum I smelled, so I then started to wear deodorant.
When I was in my early teens. I remember staying at a friends house from riding school, we used to do that, her mum and dad seemed cosy to me, I can't really explain the feeling but it felt safe, he
mum even repaired my riding jacket, I loved staying there, but my friend never wanted to return to my house, it troubled me so I told my mum and she said my friend was weird. I now know it was my mum andad that were weird.
The really strange thing is that I ended up choosing a husband just like my dad, emotionally absent. Thank goodness for therapy to help me see all these things so much more clearly now.
Just to add my mum was taking valium for a large part of my early childhood.
I thought I had a great upbringing even though I struggled at school and with friends. It wasn't until I started therapy that I realised yes my mum and dad provided for me physically but not so much emotionally, in fact I came to realise my mum has strong narcissistic tendencies and my dad is emotionally absent. I started to discuss things with my brother and he said there wasn't any love in the house. We both sort of didn't know the basics about hygiene either, he had the unbearable experience of being told by a girl at comprehensive school that he smelled, he also remembers his hair being thick with grease and his teeth being yellow with plague. I was a bit luckier my mum told mum I smelled, so I then started to wear deodorant.
When I was in my early teens. I remember staying at a friends house from riding school, we used to do that, her mum and dad seemed cosy to me, I can't really explain the feeling but it felt safe, hemum even repaired my riding jacket, I loved staying there, but my friend never wanted to return to my house, it troubled me so I told my mum and she said my friend was weird. I now know it was my mum andad that were weird.
The really strange thing is that I ended up choosing a husband just like my dad, emotionally absent. Thank goodness for therapy to help me see all these things so much more clearly now.
Just to add my mum was taking valium for a large part of my early childhood.
