Did you have a happy or unhappy childhood?

My parents were quite distant, I never really saw my father, he did three jobs. Not much was ever done as in parenting, my father was dyslexic so hated anything to do with school.

My mother was ‘sectioned’ for chunks of my childhood and adult life. My brother and I were sent away to horrible relatives. We did go on holiday for one week per year, it was always a holiday camp in the Uk, I loved that one week. 
School holidays were quite long, I never saw another child until returning to school for the next term. TV was my friend, I watched everything I could, I think that’s why I still have a big interest in 70’s & 80’s TV and films. My parents weren’t the type to have an interest in anything I did, none of us ever hugged or kicked a football about, that suited me though. My father could be quite violent, I knew when to be quiet, my brother unfortunately didn’t.

I don’t know if I had a happy or sad childhood, most of the time I just felt nothing.

Roy said:

My father could be quite violent, I knew when to be quiet, my brother unfortunately didn’t.

I am sorry to read this R.

I think that something this sort of parental behaviour does to us, along with rows and the various problems caused by our mothers' mental health problems, is make us ultra vigilant.

I think that ultra vigilance is still with me now.

Living with someone with other problems, such as allergies or life threatening conditions can create or exacerbate this ultra vigilance too.

Roy said:

My father could be quite violent, I knew when to be quiet, my brother unfortunately didn’t.

I am sorry to read this R.

I think that something this sort of parental behaviour does to us, along with rows and the various problems caused by our mothers' mental health problems, is make us ultra vigilant.

I think that ultra vigilance is still with me now.

Living with someone with other problems, such as allergies or life threatening conditions can create or exacerbate this ultra vigilance too.

At the moment I sleep in my childhood bedroom, when I was a child the door had a large stable bolt on the outside of it. A punishment could mean being shut in until the next day. The door has been changed but I can still see the outline of the hole in the frame that the bolt went into. It’s little things that just remind me that I didn’t make it up.

B said:

create or exacerbate this ultra vigilance too.

I listened to a writer and autistic advocate yesterday, Pete Wharmby, the subject was autistic people being constantly defensive and vigilant, he said, “ do you know of any other group of children who get criticised from day one for playing with their toys incorrectly, lining them up and being told it’s incorrect, and you wonder why we grow up to be so defensive.”