Disagreements when someone is very obviously wrong

This is my first time posting anything on here so apologies if it’s in the wrong place or whatever.


I’ve been finding myself getting more and more frustrated especially at home when having discussions about anything that seems so straight forward yet people feel the need to argue about it? I am quite good at articulating myself when I’m speaking about something that is correct, so when I try and explain things as black and white as possible and get told that I’m wrong it makes me so mad. I understand listening to someone else’s opinion if it’s something that can be subjective, but when what I am saying isn’t really up for negotiation and I’m still getting questioned about how I feel on the matter when it’s very obviously either a right or wrong answer I literally want to explode. My most recent fave rage inducing time this happened, my mum snapped at me and said something along the lines of ‘clearly that whole only being able to see your side thing is because of how you are (autistic)’ instead of even trying to hear the words coming out of my mouth, like why are you saying that so maliciously instead of actually listening when I was just making a simple point.  Also I get very anxious about arguing my point if I might be wrong so I don’t even try it unless I am fully confident in what I am saying. How am I supposed to navigate this when as soon as I’m right they turn petty or simply just insult me.

Parents
  • I understand listening to someone else’s opinion if it’s something that can be subjective, but when what I am saying isn’t really up for negotiation and I’m still getting questioned about how I feel on the matter when it’s very obviously either a right or wrong answer I literally want to explode.

    Unless you are arguing about the solution of something as rigid as a basic mathematical proof then almost anything else is open to a degree of interpretation so it really helps to understand that there are no absolutes in this world.

    You may see things one way when it comes to things like politics, the law, economics, relationships, management, healthcare or whatever but even the greatest expert in their field will not know everything and needs to understand that there are enough complexities and subtleties that their "rules" on the subject will not be absolute.

    You also mention the emotional effect that the arguments have on you - this is a quick way to remove the ability to thing logically about the subject or be open to considering other perspectives. If this is a recurring problem with any individual then the simplest solution is to stop debating with them.

    If you think the other person is arguing just for the sake of arguing then it helps to remember an old saying

    "Never Wrestle with a Pig. You Both Get Dirty and the Pig Likes It"

    It sounds like the other person is enjoying winding you up over the arguments so they are the pig in this situation - identifying this behaviour and avoiding giving them the pleasure of winding you up is a great tactic.

    In conclusion it helps to understand we cannot be 100% correct in our arguments and learn not to argue with pigs. This is the way.

Reply
  • I understand listening to someone else’s opinion if it’s something that can be subjective, but when what I am saying isn’t really up for negotiation and I’m still getting questioned about how I feel on the matter when it’s very obviously either a right or wrong answer I literally want to explode.

    Unless you are arguing about the solution of something as rigid as a basic mathematical proof then almost anything else is open to a degree of interpretation so it really helps to understand that there are no absolutes in this world.

    You may see things one way when it comes to things like politics, the law, economics, relationships, management, healthcare or whatever but even the greatest expert in their field will not know everything and needs to understand that there are enough complexities and subtleties that their "rules" on the subject will not be absolute.

    You also mention the emotional effect that the arguments have on you - this is a quick way to remove the ability to thing logically about the subject or be open to considering other perspectives. If this is a recurring problem with any individual then the simplest solution is to stop debating with them.

    If you think the other person is arguing just for the sake of arguing then it helps to remember an old saying

    "Never Wrestle with a Pig. You Both Get Dirty and the Pig Likes It"

    It sounds like the other person is enjoying winding you up over the arguments so they are the pig in this situation - identifying this behaviour and avoiding giving them the pleasure of winding you up is a great tactic.

    In conclusion it helps to understand we cannot be 100% correct in our arguments and learn not to argue with pigs. This is the way.

Children
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