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Autism, it’s just a 6 letter word.

Coppo

I’m trying to open up a discussion as I’m confused.

I’ve been attending some support sessions and some people celebrate being diagnosed autistic and have a party.

Now thats upto them, their choice.

I know it’s me that needs to see things differently but I find this really difficult to understand at the minute.

All the issues lifelong I have.

Lets just pretend autism wasn't named autism for a minute, after all it’s just a word somebody has put to a set of behaviours etc, let’s say it’s called an apple sandwich instead. 

So let’s just say you’re called Julie and I said “ Right Julie, you are just being born again, would you want to walk up and down the street repeatedly back and forth, touching hedges, gates, fences,  or would you want to not have to do this”

There’s surely not a person alive who would say they want to be born and do that and be an apple sandwich. 

Thats just one behaviour/aspect, there’s plenty more but just one example.

Autism is just a word it’s the things that you seem compelled to do I hate. 

Parents

  • I get that, there is a lot about my autism I hate. I would love to be able to have a fan on me and for it not to feel like sandpaper. I would love for there to be more clothing I could wear without wanting to claw off my own skin. I'd love to not be so sensitive to smells or sounds. I would love to be able to communicate clearly with people.

    But on the other hand I don't know who that other person would be. Would they appreciate stories and their structure like I do? Would they know the happiness of infodumping about a special interest? Would they collect the things I collect and love them the way I do? Would they understand and love my husband or my child the way I do? 

    There are negative aspects of my autism that I could do without, but I also wouldn't be me without it. And I wouldn't have the relationships and joys I have in my life without it. I'm not my autism, but my autism is a part of who I am and I don't know how I could separate myself from my autism and still be the same person. I could lose my chronic pain and be a happier, but still the same, person. I couldn't lose my autism without losing some of what makes me me. 

    I would have to say that's also true of my CPTSD. I don't want to have CPTSD or to have gone through trauma. But the person who didnt' go through trauma isn't me. I don't know who that person is either. 

    It's also true of my love of reading or the gender I was born as. My experiences have created who I am and I can't separate out myself completely from those experiences. 

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  • I get that, there is a lot about my autism I hate. I would love to be able to have a fan on me and for it not to feel like sandpaper. I would love for there to be more clothing I could wear without wanting to claw off my own skin. I'd love to not be so sensitive to smells or sounds. I would love to be able to communicate clearly with people.

    But on the other hand I don't know who that other person would be. Would they appreciate stories and their structure like I do? Would they know the happiness of infodumping about a special interest? Would they collect the things I collect and love them the way I do? Would they understand and love my husband or my child the way I do? 

    There are negative aspects of my autism that I could do without, but I also wouldn't be me without it. And I wouldn't have the relationships and joys I have in my life without it. I'm not my autism, but my autism is a part of who I am and I don't know how I could separate myself from my autism and still be the same person. I could lose my chronic pain and be a happier, but still the same, person. I couldn't lose my autism without losing some of what makes me me. 

    I would have to say that's also true of my CPTSD. I don't want to have CPTSD or to have gone through trauma. But the person who didnt' go through trauma isn't me. I don't know who that person is either. 

    It's also true of my love of reading or the gender I was born as. My experiences have created who I am and I can't separate out myself completely from those experiences. 

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