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"Dear Harriet" - agony aunt for ND problems (for fun!)

Alexa

Magazines and newspapers used to have an “agony aunt” column, where people could ask for advice about relationships. So, how about an ND-problems agony aunt?

What’s your question?


Dear Harriet

How can I get my NT neighbours to stop dropping by and ringing my doorbell without warning? They seem unsure and surprised when I answer the door in my pyjamas with unwashed hair on days when I’m not expecting anyone. Should I post a notice on the door to ring come back in half an hour?

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  • in reply to NAS84324

    Dear  (please bear in mind the initial said "for fun")

    Recent deep brain imaging has identified as specific region of the neurotypical brain: the "blankusscarperus" lobe.  When reality messages arrive in the extensive regions that they employ to develop a very deep fictional version of actuality.  Expression of the OSH1T gene (common in NTs) means that messages are carried quickly to the muscles of their mouth and locomotor regions.  It is important to realise these reactions are entirely involuntary and drawing their attention to this can cause them extreme distress.  Providing them with a brown paper bag, their favourite soap opera, or similar can help distract them form this distress.  Extreme caution is required and the mind of a cunning stoat and/or seasoned hypnotist is required otherwise to resolve their problem.

    Best wishes

    Harriet