Autistic rage.

So I have noticed that I have a issue with autistic rage when I am getting disregulated, you want to react violently to stop other people causing you pain and disregulating you. Like a dog barking, a loud exhaust or people talking behind you. For me this is a challenge because its very vivid and what I want to do would get me locked up, but that nervous system response is very hard to process. I need to start punching stuff to release it from my body. I play wheelchair rugby and when I get angry playing its this energy which I am using. Does anyone else have any issues with this? Thanks. 

  • yes - sadly I do experience this too. It’s like a storm that just explodes in me and when it passes I feel so shook up and horrified by myself. It happens when I am feeling completely overwhelmed- or when I’ve been dealing with persistent long term stress and just snap, it’s horrible and I hate myself so much for it. 

  • Yep still do, I used to a lot more than I do now tho'.

    I personally spent a long time in martial arts training and mostly "played this out" so the reaction I became most at risk of displaying being verbal rage - but as there's a lot of yelling in martial arts this tends to come out in a simmer rather than a full blown boil for me.

    I still find it a tricky one to emotionally regulate.  I found that I was emotionally suppressing personally - the latter either increasing like a pressure cooker until it all squirted out or if the valve is jammed becoming apparently unaware of the pressure building until the cooker broke.  Sorry 'bout the use of metaphors - I hope that makes sense.

    The issue that I now personally have is trying to find a "cleaner" energy to run off rather than anger - enthusiasm instead if i can raise it.

    I hope that what I've written validates how you feel and maybe that it can be something else in the future for you.

  • Yeah I want to X people out, its scary because I am not like this at all, its not part of my nature or personality, but I am like so violent in my brain sometimes and its scary. Changed my entire demeanor and thought process too. But now I know why and what it is I can work on it. Its another defense mechanism. For me its when I am driving and stuck in standing traffic, I lose it. 

  • If I am in a crowd, especially in the streets or outside generally, there is a build up of internal pressure making me want to lash out at people nearby, to create some space around me. I do not do so, but I really feel like doing so.