• Replies 10 replies
  • Subscribers 86 subscribers
  • Views 431 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

Burnout, Feelings and recovery

googlefox

Hi,  I have a diagnosis of Audhd.  I have known for a while that I had ADHD but have only recently come to understand that Autism is also part of the mix that is me.  This question relates to an ex partner:  Can anyone here help me understand how autistic burnout affects feelings and emotions?  Has anyone here ended a relationship during burnout because they did not have the capacity to be in a relationship and then find that they recovered and their capacity and feelings returned?  Or is it more likely that the burnout its self leads to a permanent shift in capacity and what is needed and so the reduced ability to emotionally connect is more likely to be permanent.  I am asking this because I am trying to understand and support someone that I care very deeply for.  If anyone is able to share their views or experience I would be very grateful,  Thank you.

Parents
  • Hi @googlefox
    I might be answering your post a bit differently as my own recent experiences of burnout have not resulted in ending a relationship, but they certainly put those relationships under an enormous amount of strain.
    The personal suffering of burnout is incredibly hard to endure, and it is equally hard to watch and support someone through. I often think of it like lifeguarding: people who save drowning people have to be very careful that the person doesn't unintentionally strike out and drag them under too.
    Additionally, when I am in the depths of burnout, I often realise I am causing inadvertent collateral suffering to the people around me. Pushing someone away can sometimes be a protective mechanism to avoid hurting them further—even though that rejection is deeply painful in itself.
    To answer your question about whether the reduced ability to emotionally connect is permanent: speaking personally, no. During my burnout, I transiently experienced what is called alexithymia—it felt like the emotional processing pathways in my brain completely shut down to conserve energy. However, as I recovered, these pathways gradually re-opened. Capacity and feelings can return, but the timeline is different for everyone.
    One thing to be mindful of is the "ex-partner" dynamic. Receiving intense emotional support from an ex can be a difficult stumbling block to navigate. If it were me, I might struggle to process whether the support meant a rekindling of the partnership (which the other person might not want or intend), and the mixed signals or lack of clarity could make recovery harder to negotiate.
    It is wonderful that you care so deeply and want to understand. I hope that you can be patient, protect your own boundaries too, and know that the emotional shutdown of burnout is often a temporary survival mode, not a permanent change in who they are.
Reply
  • Hi @googlefox
    I might be answering your post a bit differently as my own recent experiences of burnout have not resulted in ending a relationship, but they certainly put those relationships under an enormous amount of strain.
    The personal suffering of burnout is incredibly hard to endure, and it is equally hard to watch and support someone through. I often think of it like lifeguarding: people who save drowning people have to be very careful that the person doesn't unintentionally strike out and drag them under too.
    Additionally, when I am in the depths of burnout, I often realise I am causing inadvertent collateral suffering to the people around me. Pushing someone away can sometimes be a protective mechanism to avoid hurting them further—even though that rejection is deeply painful in itself.
    To answer your question about whether the reduced ability to emotionally connect is permanent: speaking personally, no. During my burnout, I transiently experienced what is called alexithymia—it felt like the emotional processing pathways in my brain completely shut down to conserve energy. However, as I recovered, these pathways gradually re-opened. Capacity and feelings can return, but the timeline is different for everyone.
    One thing to be mindful of is the "ex-partner" dynamic. Receiving intense emotional support from an ex can be a difficult stumbling block to navigate. If it were me, I might struggle to process whether the support meant a rekindling of the partnership (which the other person might not want or intend), and the mixed signals or lack of clarity could make recovery harder to negotiate.
    It is wonderful that you care so deeply and want to understand. I hope that you can be patient, protect your own boundaries too, and know that the emotional shutdown of burnout is often a temporary survival mode, not a permanent change in who they are.
Children
No Data