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Burnout, Feelings and recovery

googlefox

Hi,  I have a diagnosis of Audhd.  I have known for a while that I had ADHD but have only recently come to understand that Autism is also part of the mix that is me.  This question relates to an ex partner:  Can anyone here help me understand how autistic burnout affects feelings and emotions?  Has anyone here ended a relationship during burnout because they did not have the capacity to be in a relationship and then find that they recovered and their capacity and feelings returned?  Or is it more likely that the burnout its self leads to a permanent shift in capacity and what is needed and so the reduced ability to emotionally connect is more likely to be permanent.  I am asking this because I am trying to understand and support someone that I care very deeply for.  If anyone is able to share their views or experience I would be very grateful,  Thank you.

Parents

  • Hi 

    I am afraid I don’t have a solution for you but I can certainly empathise with your situation. It sounds like I have been through something similar.  After a 20 years together my separation from my partner coincided with a prolonged period of anxiety, depression and burn out. This also coincided with starting to pursue an autism diagnosis. That was two years ago now. I still haven’t gotten a diagnosis. But my ex and I have remained close friends. However I still find the same feelings come up when I see her and this can leave me feeling emotionally drained for days after. I don’t feel like I have recovered from burnout. I also wonder if I will ever meet anyone else- while i sometimes think it would be nice I am not sure I am up for it. In fact I look back at my life and wonder if this burnout hasn’t been a more frequently reoccurring experience than I had previously realised. I am not sure how much dwelling on it helps. I find it more helpful to engage in things I enjoy and try to be kind to myself. 

Reply

  • Hi 

    I am afraid I don’t have a solution for you but I can certainly empathise with your situation. It sounds like I have been through something similar.  After a 20 years together my separation from my partner coincided with a prolonged period of anxiety, depression and burn out. This also coincided with starting to pursue an autism diagnosis. That was two years ago now. I still haven’t gotten a diagnosis. But my ex and I have remained close friends. However I still find the same feelings come up when I see her and this can leave me feeling emotionally drained for days after. I don’t feel like I have recovered from burnout. I also wonder if I will ever meet anyone else- while i sometimes think it would be nice I am not sure I am up for it. In fact I look back at my life and wonder if this burnout hasn’t been a more frequently reoccurring experience than I had previously realised. I am not sure how much dwelling on it helps. I find it more helpful to engage in things I enjoy and try to be kind to myself. 

Children
  • in reply to M

    Hi M,  Thank you so much for replying and sharing. I know how hard it can be to get a diagnosis - i had to pay for both of my assessments but it has helped me to make sense of who I am and why I have never felt quite in the same place as others.  Can I ask you what you mean by 'the same feelings come up when I see her'?  I am asking so that I fully understand.  I will understand if you do not want to reply because it may be too personal,  but i am wondering if the same feelings are those of care and love or was your relationship part of what lead to your burnout and what you feel is the fear of relapse?  I hope you are kind to yourself and that you are taking care to get what you need to recover.  Thank you again and take care.