Trying to connect

Hey everyone 

Just wanted to say hello really… it’s been a long time since I posted on here and just felt the need to. 
I don’t know if I will stay or not and don’t know if I will fit.

I thought I was eventually starting to figure things out since my late diagnosis at age 50. Therapy was going well and been regular there for around 2 years but all or a sudden I have found myself nowhere again. I have lost any enthusiasm I had for anything, My interests are gone and unreachable at this point and I just don’t feel joy about anything anymore. I sometimes wish I had never discovered that I was autistic. The difference now knowing is that I do have an excuse for not socialising which has cut me off from people even more than pre diagnosis…. I honestly don’t know what is worse? My marriage is destroyed which is kind of okay because I wasn’t treated respectfully for being neurodivergent but obviously there is much work to do there for which I have no energy. 
I’m constantly told that I need to get back on the SSRI’s when they only served me very short term. I found after a few years these were extremely difficult to get off with some quite disturbing withdrawals. 
I have tried finding some group meet up sessions locally as I think I am lonely but there is nothing close by as far as I can find. 
For someone who was making good progress with some positive changes I just feel terrible. I have been telling myself that I should never have been assessed or diagnosed and I’m constantly in tears.

I am not expecting anyone to respond to this post, I just needed to put it out as I’m feeling quite desperate with my mental health at the moment.

So hard to be positive 

Parents
  • Hello, I was prescribed every type of antidepressant for years to treat depression that was really burnout. I found they just made things worse. Apart from all the side effects like listlessness, weight gain etc they did nothing to address the root of the problem. I found that they made me more depressed because on top of everything else I was struggling to deal with the side effects of the tablets. At best they made me numb for a while and left blank spaces in my memory.

    Obviously I'm not a doctor so this is just my personal opinion but if SSRIs have not worked in the past they are probably not likely to start working. It seems you have identified loneliness as a factor which is very depressing and unfortunately loneliness can only be addressed you you are around the right people 

    Stick with it,  there are lots of clever people in here who I am sure can give you some useful advice. 

Reply
  • Hello, I was prescribed every type of antidepressant for years to treat depression that was really burnout. I found they just made things worse. Apart from all the side effects like listlessness, weight gain etc they did nothing to address the root of the problem. I found that they made me more depressed because on top of everything else I was struggling to deal with the side effects of the tablets. At best they made me numb for a while and left blank spaces in my memory.

    Obviously I'm not a doctor so this is just my personal opinion but if SSRIs have not worked in the past they are probably not likely to start working. It seems you have identified loneliness as a factor which is very depressing and unfortunately loneliness can only be addressed you you are around the right people 

    Stick with it,  there are lots of clever people in here who I am sure can give you some useful advice. 

Children
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