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Do you ever feel ashamed of being autistic?

LivAgain

Hi,

I know it sounds like an awful thing to say and I'm sure it will spark controversy but this is just a question I have never felt able to ask other autistic people and tonight I just thought, "Why not? People are welcome to disagree with me if that's how they feel."

Anyway, I've been having a rough time lately and feel very ashamed of a lot of things. One thing I'm certainly ashamed of is being autistic. Everything about it feels like a threat - a threat to my femininity, to my appearance, to how others will perceive me. It's hard to put into words but it's almost as though the symptoms don't worry me (I don't actually have a great deal of symptoms, really; not nowadays anyway) but the label itself is damaging me more and more every day.

I feel so guilty for feeling like this but I don't want to wonder anymore. Does anyone else feel like this?

Thank you,

LivAgain 

Parents

  • I have always been ashamed to be me and although my diagnosis last year helped me answer the questions about why I am like I am, I've still not got there with accepting it yet. People tell me that accepting it will come in time.

    There is ASD in my family but it seems to have only affected boys and when you combine that with hypersensitivities preventing me from wearing make up or certain kinds of fashionable women's clothing, I'm really not feeling very feminine at all.

    I'm angry with myself for being born the way I was and think it would have been better if I hadn't have been born at all. My mum doesn't say this and I don't even think that she thinks it but I wish that I hadn't been born.

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  • I have always been ashamed to be me and although my diagnosis last year helped me answer the questions about why I am like I am, I've still not got there with accepting it yet. People tell me that accepting it will come in time.

    There is ASD in my family but it seems to have only affected boys and when you combine that with hypersensitivities preventing me from wearing make up or certain kinds of fashionable women's clothing, I'm really not feeling very feminine at all.

    I'm angry with myself for being born the way I was and think it would have been better if I hadn't have been born at all. My mum doesn't say this and I don't even think that she thinks it but I wish that I hadn't been born.

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