Do you ever feel ashamed of being autistic?

I have had bad feelings about being Autistic, so you are not alone. I have sometimes felt defiled and defective, even diseased, and envious of the 'normal' and successful people in my family. I do come from a family of high achievers, and I am the only one who has not really succeeded in terms of a job, relationship, career. I know, in theory, these things 'could' still happen, but they seem exceedingly unlikely because of the severity of my condition. My Asperger's itself is not obvious or outwardly severe, but the traits severely curtail my life in a very 'invisible' way. I also have co-existing OCD, which in my case is definitely biochemical and probably part of the neurological deal I have been handed in life.

I do sometimes feel like I am hiding a 'dirty secret', but my parents have certainly helped to reinforce these feelings in the past, before I was diagnosed. Unfortunately I was  labelled a 'problem child', and punished for things that were out of my control - my OCD rituals, for example. This resulted in me having tantrums, so I handed up being punished twofold. Nowadays my parents are more understanding, but I still feel like the odd one out in my family. I  certainly wish I did not have such a disabling condition, and I cannot identify with those who are proud of their condition. To me, Asperger's is a curse. However, my attitude is that, 'when you are given a lemon, make lemonade', so I try and make the best of a bad situation. I focus on my special interests - the one thing that makes life worth living for me - and try and challenge myself and overcome my difficulties to the best of my ability. I believe that things can improve and get better, but this does not detract from the fact that I hate, ad yes, can be ashamed of having such a cruel condition.

I have had bad feelings about being Autistic, so you are not alone. I have sometimes felt defiled and defective, even diseased, and envious of the 'normal' and successful people in my family. I do come from a family of high achievers, and I am the only one who has not really succeeded in terms of a job, relationship, career. I know, in theory, these things 'could' still happen, but they seem exceedingly unlikely because of the severity of my condition. My Asperger's itself is not obvious or outwardly severe, but the traits severely curtail my life in a very 'invisible' way. I also have co-existing OCD, which in my case is definitely biochemical and probably part of the neurological deal I have been handed in life.

I do sometimes feel like I am hiding a 'dirty secret', but my parents have certainly helped to reinforce these feelings in the past, before I was diagnosed. Unfortunately I was  labelled a 'problem child', and punished for things that were out of my control - my OCD rituals, for example. This resulted in me having tantrums, so I handed up being punished twofold. Nowadays my parents are more understanding, but I still feel like the odd one out in my family. I  certainly wish I did not have such a disabling condition, and I cannot identify with those who are proud of their condition. To me, Asperger's is a curse. However, my attitude is that, 'when you are given a lemon, make lemonade', so I try and make the best of a bad situation. I focus on my special interests - the one thing that makes life worth living for me - and try and challenge myself and overcome my difficulties to the best of my ability. I believe that things can improve and get better, but this does not detract from the fact that I hate, ad yes, can be ashamed of having such a cruel condition.