Diagnosis struggle

Hi and welcome to the community,

I was diagnosed last year at the age of 57, it’s hard to workout who to tell about a diagnosis, some will reply with negative answers, “ you don’t look autistic. We’re all a little bit autistic.” I’ve heard most of them.

When someone does answer with something positive, it makes it all worthwhile. Someone said to me recently, “your diagnosis must have answered a lot of questions, I imagine it made you quite sad as well.”

I don’t actually tell many people, in the end you will workout who is worth telling. I personally wouldn’t rely on family being helpful, they think they know you, it’s hard for them to understand that most of your persona was an illusion made up for their benefit. I find anxiety is always rumbling away in the background, often it makes it’s self more known, I’ve found adapting my life helps a lot, even small tweaks make all the difference.

Hang around here and keep asking questions.

Hi and welcome to the community,

I was diagnosed last year at the age of 57, it’s hard to workout who to tell about a diagnosis, some will reply with negative answers, “ you don’t look autistic. We’re all a little bit autistic.” I’ve heard most of them.

When someone does answer with something positive, it makes it all worthwhile. Someone said to me recently, “your diagnosis must have answered a lot of questions, I imagine it made you quite sad as well.”

I don’t actually tell many people, in the end you will workout who is worth telling. I personally wouldn’t rely on family being helpful, they think they know you, it’s hard for them to understand that most of your persona was an illusion made up for their benefit. I find anxiety is always rumbling away in the background, often it makes it’s self more known, I’ve found adapting my life helps a lot, even small tweaks make all the difference.

Hang around here and keep asking questions.

That's useful, I like your wording 'illusion for their benefit'. That is very true. We often live our lives through others as we try to navigate. I have found family hard to navigate. My older siblings don't believe I'm autistic, they think it's an excuse for my behavior. You lose people and you find new people. I have found so many amazing people since I just talk now instead of trying to be 'normal'. I do 'experiments' after having CBT. So now, instead of being too afraid to be myself, I just blurt it out and I see what happens. I've had some lovely interactions with humans which I could never have imagined before I knew I was autistic 

Hi Roy , many thanks for your reply. It really helps knowing I'm not the only one. I guess some of us need a little bit more time to digest the whole thing, even though the diagnosis makes so much sense after a life of struggles and being always 'on the wrong side'. Cheers