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Meltdown today

Orangegnome

Today I had a meltdown for the first time in a few weeks. I thought I was doing okay, but today pushed me over the edge. I have stress about work, something personal in my home life and I was running late today while trying to please others and failing miserably. I have an ill friend and thinking about her is making me feel so sad a lot of the time. I take antidepressants, and I think they work for me, but I just had a very hard day today and it all started with this loss of control emotionally. I don’t know what I want from posting here but I feel I just want to tell people who might understand. 

Parents

  • I too had a meltdown today. It started as I was loading the car for a tip trip, one of our neighbours appeared and we started a conversation about her garden improvements, but the wind was blowing our voices, I didn’t catch certain words, answered yes when she expected no, then she looked at me really weirdly like Id cursed her mother. I changed the subject, complimented her on her dress and she thought I was being sarcastic (I never am, Im incapable of it nor do I understand it) as it was it turned out to be cheap chinese junk. So I ummed and ahhd and embarrassedly retreated. 



    The tip was stressful as ever, long queue to get in, random bin bag searches, and a sensory hideousness of stench and rushing people and noise. We then headed to the retail park and it was just too much for me, and I broke into pieces. There were dogs and tonnes of litter, aggressive drivers in unnecessarily huge cars, kids strutting about, blokes with hairy legs playing pocket billiards outside Costa, the bloke in the pet store with metal all over his face and angry tatoos (what message is he trying to give!) was as invalidating as ever. I was exhausted and broken and giving my opinions as per above in a voice I knew people would hear. Its grenades going off in my head, cutting shrapnel as verbals, , Fortunately H steered me back to the car out of trouble, got me home where I crashed out in exhaustion.

    I am really unpleasant when in a meltdown, my judgements on people surface and I express them loudly. Its frustration and overload and ultimately anger. But deep down I know these are my true feelings. 


    A

Reply

  • I too had a meltdown today. It started as I was loading the car for a tip trip, one of our neighbours appeared and we started a conversation about her garden improvements, but the wind was blowing our voices, I didn’t catch certain words, answered yes when she expected no, then she looked at me really weirdly like Id cursed her mother. I changed the subject, complimented her on her dress and she thought I was being sarcastic (I never am, Im incapable of it nor do I understand it) as it was it turned out to be cheap chinese junk. So I ummed and ahhd and embarrassedly retreated. 



    The tip was stressful as ever, long queue to get in, random bin bag searches, and a sensory hideousness of stench and rushing people and noise. We then headed to the retail park and it was just too much for me, and I broke into pieces. There were dogs and tonnes of litter, aggressive drivers in unnecessarily huge cars, kids strutting about, blokes with hairy legs playing pocket billiards outside Costa, the bloke in the pet store with metal all over his face and angry tatoos (what message is he trying to give!) was as invalidating as ever. I was exhausted and broken and giving my opinions as per above in a voice I knew people would hear. Its grenades going off in my head, cutting shrapnel as verbals, , Fortunately H steered me back to the car out of trouble, got me home where I crashed out in exhaustion.

    I am really unpleasant when in a meltdown, my judgements on people surface and I express them loudly. Its frustration and overload and ultimately anger. But deep down I know these are my true feelings. 


    A

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