Older late diagnosed or self identifying people, do you ever wonder how you made it to adulthood?

Do I ever wonder how I made it to adulthood? Sometimes I am ok with that I was not diagnosed before-although I lived my life and had autistic behaviour/traits there was nothing to limit what I could do. There are some benefit though to being diagnosed like learning about the sensory I was more aware of it and how to manage it and the condition itself. 

I had behavioural issues at primary school due to sensory behaviour and it was not illegal to smack a child then and I was disciplined.

I saw a child consultant as a 15 year old in 1988 and only autism could be diagnosed then- it was DSM 3 TR and you had to be profoundly impacted to get a diagnosis and it never came up. I didn't see them very long to observe to. I had an overwhelming situations at 15 and 20. Having an eating disorder covered up some of the autism and acted as also a special interest of its own at times.

I became aware of in around 2013 and it was brought up in 2015 in hospital. I was diagnosed in 2022 eventually.I could have been in 2016, but a family member denied childhood illness etc but i got my medical records from then and applied again when a nurse said it would be a good idea to be tested. I wasn't tested in 2016. I filled in forms and then they spoke to a family member and they was given wrong information..

I was pretty much running the house from the age of 11, taking the laundry to the laundrette, doing the shopping and coking and a fair bit of the cleaning too. I think it's good for children to learn how to look after a house, it's a basic lifeskill, but I think I and many others had to do to much.

I say everyday that I’m going to be more patient and not shutdown, I don’t watch the evening news anymore as it’s too stressful. I watched it yesterday as I wanted to see what the new Prime Minister had to say, mother came straight into my annex and sat down. It was like watching the news with Alf Garnet narrating it. “ He’s useless, she’s a liar, he’s for the immigrants.”

Theres never a good word about anyone or anything, I don’t think the 1970’s had any rules,  at 8 years old I fitted a new piece of flex and a plug to an electric fire, I would refill the glass bottle on the paraffin heater, nobody batted an eye lid. I think back and my brother and I were fed and had a bed, that was about it, the rest was for us to workout.

I just got my diagnosis and looking back over my life I actually feel quite proud of what I've managed to achieve considering the difficulties and barriers I've faced. I feel like I've shown a lot of resilience and often used my brain and research skills to compensate for my lack social skills and other difficulties.

Yeah this resonates, my mum would say that I was the strong one. 

Yup…I wonder that too. I have recently cut our contact down to the odd phone call and personally I believe my mum should come with a health warning ️ 

I hope this time with mum doesn’t affect you too adversely Roy 

Roy said:

Thank you , I think we had to become adults at a very young age.

Yes, very much so.

Thank you , I think we had to become adults at a very young age. They seem to know exactly which buttons to press.

And if you are talking more generally, yes, I think quite a lot of life was torture and there were suicidal thoughts quite often and one attempt.

It's great that we are still here though!

Hi Roy.

I remember quite a bit about your mother and I know where you are coming from (I think).

I sometimes think about the jeopardy I was in as a child because of bad parenting, besides the emotional cruelty/blackmail/neglect and yes, I think I could have disappeared from the world.

If I were living with my mother now one of us might become a murderer (but she has passed away anyway).

Thinking of you.

I hope it's not too long until you can be permanently based in Cornwall.