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Learning to drive with ASD

lottie286

Hi everyone,

I’m looking for some advice or reassurance from anyone who has navigated learning to drive with ASD and high anxiety.

At the start of June, I started an intensive manual driving course. I managed two 4-hour days before my instructor became ill and we had to pause. Honestly, I have really struggled. Most of the time, I was in a total panic, not necessarily because I thought I’d crash, but because I felt overwhelmed by the fear that I will never be able to grasp it. The thought of struggling stops me from even trying.

My anxiety gets so high that during the post-lesson reflection, I literally cannot remember anything. My mind just blanks it all out.

My instructor is actually really good and understands my ASD, but he pointed out that because I blank out and can’t remember the lesson, it’s hard to progress past focusing on one thing at a time. He has now switched me to bi-weekly lessons, and I just feel a deep sense of dread every time I think about them.

I need to learn because I’m moving to a semi-rural area soon where the public transport isn't great. Usually, I feel like my autism doesn’t stop me from doing much, but this experience has completely taken over. It makes me feel like a little girl again. Basic things I’m normally okay with, like processing left vs. right and multitasking, just completely fly out the window.

My family suggested switching to an automatic so there are physically fewer things to focus on, but I'm still terrified I won't be able to do it. My little sister also has her test coming up and is doing amazingly, which makes me feel like a massive failure by comparison.

I feel incredibly alone. I know driving anxiety is common, but this feels like it's on a completely different level.

Standard advice isn't really working for me, so I’d love to hear from other autistic brains who have been through this. Thank you so much!

Parents

  • I have been learning to drive for a few years and currently on my fourth attempt of my practical driving test so you’re definitely not alone in your struggles !! I would definitely recommend switching to automatic I did that and found it a whole load easier. There’s so much sensory stimuli to take in whilst driving so removing the gears and clutch part is great. I also do lessons with my stepdad which helps the anxiety as it’s not with an unfamiliar person. It’s good your driving instructor is understanding.

    A practical tip I found useful is commentary driving so saying out loud everything you see and observe. This helps to ground me whilst driving and to keep my focus on the road. Also, watching videos or common test routes in your area is good to help with unpredictability. Also, for me I have to break things into small steps for me to grasp it like parallel parking. So I would make a note I could do over after the lesson of these steps to help it stick. 

    Defenitely the more you drive the easier it gets but I really sympathise with your struggle and I also got upset that driving seemed to come so easily to other people. Easier send than done but try and be more compassionate with yourself driving is really tough and it’s great you have made the first step to start learning !! Good luck :) 

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  • I have been learning to drive for a few years and currently on my fourth attempt of my practical driving test so you’re definitely not alone in your struggles !! I would definitely recommend switching to automatic I did that and found it a whole load easier. There’s so much sensory stimuli to take in whilst driving so removing the gears and clutch part is great. I also do lessons with my stepdad which helps the anxiety as it’s not with an unfamiliar person. It’s good your driving instructor is understanding.

    A practical tip I found useful is commentary driving so saying out loud everything you see and observe. This helps to ground me whilst driving and to keep my focus on the road. Also, watching videos or common test routes in your area is good to help with unpredictability. Also, for me I have to break things into small steps for me to grasp it like parallel parking. So I would make a note I could do over after the lesson of these steps to help it stick. 

    Defenitely the more you drive the easier it gets but I really sympathise with your struggle and I also got upset that driving seemed to come so easily to other people. Easier send than done but try and be more compassionate with yourself driving is really tough and it’s great you have made the first step to start learning !! Good luck :) 

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