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Learning to drive with ASD

lottie286

Hi everyone,

I’m looking for some advice or reassurance from anyone who has navigated learning to drive with ASD and high anxiety.

At the start of June, I started an intensive manual driving course. I managed two 4-hour days before my instructor became ill and we had to pause. Honestly, I have really struggled. Most of the time, I was in a total panic, not necessarily because I thought I’d crash, but because I felt overwhelmed by the fear that I will never be able to grasp it. The thought of struggling stops me from even trying.

My anxiety gets so high that during the post-lesson reflection, I literally cannot remember anything. My mind just blanks it all out.

My instructor is actually really good and understands my ASD, but he pointed out that because I blank out and can’t remember the lesson, it’s hard to progress past focusing on one thing at a time. He has now switched me to bi-weekly lessons, and I just feel a deep sense of dread every time I think about them.

I need to learn because I’m moving to a semi-rural area soon where the public transport isn't great. Usually, I feel like my autism doesn’t stop me from doing much, but this experience has completely taken over. It makes me feel like a little girl again. Basic things I’m normally okay with, like processing left vs. right and multitasking, just completely fly out the window.

My family suggested switching to an automatic so there are physically fewer things to focus on, but I'm still terrified I won't be able to do it. My little sister also has her test coming up and is doing amazingly, which makes me feel like a massive failure by comparison.

I feel incredibly alone. I know driving anxiety is common, but this feels like it's on a completely different level.

Standard advice isn't really working for me, so I’d love to hear from other autistic brains who have been through this. Thank you so much!

Parents

  • Hi, I’m autistic and I struggled to learn how to drive - I was very anxious and overly cautious. I wouldn’t have learnt without my mum. I don’t know what the regulations are like in the UK but back in Luxembourg they have this ‘conduite accompagnée’ where after taking a minimum of 12 hours with an instructor (or more if deemed necessary) you are allowed to practice and drive with a dedicated person that has to sit in on the last 2 hours of classes. They need to have a second mirror and your car has to have a special sign so people know you are a driver in training. I did this with my mum and it is what ultimately helped me learn as she knows me very well and knew how to give me confidence and push me. I passed my test on the first attempt after that though I still don’t like driving. My instructor was very nice and understanding too but he was being overly cautious in what he said to me and how and not direct enough. I needed clear and firm instructions and it helped to learn from someone I trusted. Not sure if any of this helps but that’s how I learnt

Reply

  • Hi, I’m autistic and I struggled to learn how to drive - I was very anxious and overly cautious. I wouldn’t have learnt without my mum. I don’t know what the regulations are like in the UK but back in Luxembourg they have this ‘conduite accompagnée’ where after taking a minimum of 12 hours with an instructor (or more if deemed necessary) you are allowed to practice and drive with a dedicated person that has to sit in on the last 2 hours of classes. They need to have a second mirror and your car has to have a special sign so people know you are a driver in training. I did this with my mum and it is what ultimately helped me learn as she knows me very well and knew how to give me confidence and push me. I passed my test on the first attempt after that though I still don’t like driving. My instructor was very nice and understanding too but he was being overly cautious in what he said to me and how and not direct enough. I needed clear and firm instructions and it helped to learn from someone I trusted. Not sure if any of this helps but that’s how I learnt

Children